The Farther He Runs by Lynda Aicher

#3 Kick

Pages 226

Publisher: Loveswept

Release Date: December 6, 2016

Buy links: Amazon    Amazon UK    Loveswept

The blurb

In an explosive novel of long-awaited release from the award-winning author of The Deeper He Hurts, two emotionally exposed Marines learn to lean on each other—and discover the courage to act on their innermost needs.

After years away from home, Tanner Dorsey is back and sorting through feelings that have him in a stranglehold. The hardened Marine will do anything for a fallen comrade, so when an accident leaves Finn Kelley fighting for his life, Tanner’s eager to be there for him. In fact, Tanner’s ready and willing to do anything Finn asks—especially if it means finally acting on the sexual tension that’s always kept him craving more.

Finn senses it too—when he brushes against Tanner’s stubbled jaw, when he inhales the scent of the T-shirt that clings to Tanner’s body like a second skin. Now that he’s more vulnerable than ever, Finn knows the time is right to take control, even if it means risking the heart and soul of their friendship. The bond they share goes beyond desire; it’s a bond of brotherhood, forged under conditions few could imagine. But once they cross that line, there will be no more secrets. No more boundaries. And no turning back.

My thoughts

I received my copy from Loveswept through Netgalley in return for an honest review.

The Farther He Runs is the third book in the ‘Kick’ series but can, in my opinion, be read and thoroughly enjoyed as a stand-alone novel.

This is one emotionally charged book. Finn and Tanner put themselves through an emotional wringer and pull the reader right along with them. From the opening chapters, when they say goodbye to the brother they lost, through the doubts and raging sexual tension, to finally giving in to a love and attraction they’ve both been hiding for years, they kept me hooked on their every thought, action, and feeling.

When Tanner and Finn at last give into the heat flowing between them (after what may well be the hottest workout known to men) it means that Tanner can at last show sides of himself he’s been hiding for decades. He embraces his gayness and allows his submissive side to surface.

“He’d never be a submissive in the purest sense of the word. Yet he longed to give his control over—even for a little while—to Finn and know, without question, that he’d be safe.”

Even more stunning than Tanner’s willingness to give his all in the aid of Finn’s recovery, is Finn’s growth from broken and close to desperate victim, to strong and dominant survivor. I found myself cheering him along every time Finn recovered another part of his old self as he and Tanner spend time together and push him towards life again.

“Lust blazed. Want called. Desire begged.

And Finn responded. His dominant side breaking free to take everything Tanner was offering.”

Finn’s journey was a marvellous thing to read. There are no short cuts for him; he doesn’t get an easy ride. Every step is hard, painful, and often frustrating and yet he perseveres because Tanner won’t allow him to fail. I felt such joy as he grew, got stronger, found himself again, and became all he had always been; everything he had lost.

Tanner on the other hand…. *sighs*. What to say about Tanner? On the one hand he took my breath away. Everything he’s willing to do Finn, the way he opens up, gives all of himself to the man he’s loved in secret for years, is nothing short of stunning. He bears his soul and hides nothing because his love runs deep and he’ll go to hell and back if it means helping Finn to become the man he’s supposed to be again. And yet…. When his leave is up and it’s time to say goodbye I could have taken him by the scruff of his neck and shaken him like you do a naughty puppy. Boy did he frustrate me. I wished for means to dive into my Kindle and confront him, tell him to embrace and accept himself as Finn does and stop hiding. I had a hard time reading that part of the story. In fact, I seriously considered skipping it. Part of that was my inability to deal with angst, especially when it happens to two characters I’ve come to care deeply about, and part of it was pure frustration with the character. I didn’t, of course, because if an author is able to make me get that drawn into a story it’s impossible not to read every single word, no matter how painful they may be. And of course it paid off...in the most wonderful fashion. Tanner may have needed a bit of a push, but when he does come through, he bloody shines.

These guys are, at times, literally able to read each other’s thoughts. The first time I encountered that it made me frown for a moment and then I loved it. Because I know it to be true that once you know someone well enough, love them deeply enough, and spend enough time with them, you do reach a point where you know what the other is thinking, long before they open their mouth. And Finn and Tanner had loved and known each other for a long time. And, what’s more, they’d been in situations where being able to communicate without words had literally been a matter of life and death; being a Marine will do that to you.

“Love me like no one else ever has. Be my strength when I can’t be strong. My courage when I’m scared shitless. My confidence when I’m doubting.

“I will. I do.””

Lynda Aicher has always had a habit of messing with my heart. More often than not her stories take me beyond my emotional comfort zone. But every single time I’ve allowed her to take me where I wasn’t sure I wanted to go, she’s rewarded me by giving me the most memorable of reading experiences. This story may have pushed me harder and further than any of the previous ones; it also had me crying happy tears when it ended. I totally recommend this steaming hot, emotionally engrossing, and very memorable story featuring two men I’m not likely to forget any time soon.

And with that, I apologise for yet another gush-fest.

“Finn was his point, and Tanner would have his six for the rest of his life.”

And

“Tanner was his point, and Finn had his six.”

Links to my reviews of previous ‘Kick’ titles:

The harder He Falls  The Deeper He Hurts

The Deeper He Hurts by Lynda Aicher - A Pre-Release Review

Kick #2

224 pages

Publisher: Loveswept

Release Date September 6, 2016

Copy received from the publisher through Netgalley

The blurb:

Asher Ruggiero, a partner at Adrenaline Kick Adventures, is living a lie. As a control freak whose big Italian family thinks he’s straight, Asher likes his encounters concise, dirty, and discreet—until his company’s new rafting guide walks into work, dripping with brooding, intense sexuality. Sawyer Stevens is a mystery man with secrets and rough edges, and he makes Asher want to get to know him inside and out.

Ever since the tragic death of his parents, Sawyer has dedicated himself to the rush of adrenaline that comes from pleasure and pain. Moving from one guy to another, hiding when life gets too complicated—that’s all he can handle. So why does Asher make him long for something lasting and honest, when the gorgeous geek can’t even be true to himself? Sawyer wants to give Asher his heart, but he just doesn’t know how. After all, a life without integrity is a life without passion—and that’s the one thing Sawyer craves.

My thoughts:

“Pain given and received equally in an exchange of need more than power.”

It’s only fair to start this review with a warning; it will be more me fan-girling about a book I adored and a story that touched me deeply, than a coherent reflection of my thoughts. And before I get all incoherent and start gushing let me just say that this book went straight to my ‘extra special’ list because it will stay with me for a long time to come.

Lynda Aicher ventures were few romance authors dare to go in The Deeper He Hurts. Just like The Harder He Falls, this book’s story is not quite BDSM. Sure, it plays by the BDSM rules in so far as that safewords are mentioned, but Ash is a sadist rather than a Dom and while Sawyer may be a pain slut, he is nobody’s sub. And that is what makes them perfect play partners, despite the fact that Asher has a rule against relationships with employees and Sawyer doesn’t want, need, or trust connections. Ms Aicher doesn’t flinch away from the thoughts and feelings a sadist harbours anymore than the needs of someone finding release in pain. Those scenes should have been shocking and even hard to read but weren’t. In fact they were stunningly beautiful.

Asher and Sawyer are two men who have convinced themselves that they are better off alone. Asher because he can’t figure out how to come out to his family and Sawyer because he knows, without a shadow of a doubt that to let people into his heart is a sure fire way to loss and pain. And yet, knowing you’re better off on your own with your head doesn’t always mean your heart is on board with the game.

Asher is the first to recognise, acknowledge and also accept the feelings he’s developing for Sawyer. In fact, Asher has no qualms revealing his secrets and darkness to the man he’s falling for. Sawyer on the other hand has built such strong walls around himself that he finds it impossible to open up. Even as he has to acknowledge to himself that Asher has gotten under his skin, he can’t bring himself to accept it; not to himself and especially not to Asher.

“Sawyer hid so much from everyone, he doubted anyone really knew him. Not even himself. Asher’s level of self-awareness was both humbling and terrifying. What would he find if he looked that deeply at himself? If he let anyone else see beneath the layers to who he really was?”

I hurt for Sawyer and I hurt for Asher and yet I cheered whenever they were together, doing what they were perfectly matched to do together. Who knew there was this much beauty in the giving and receiving of pain, just for the sake of pain? Because trust me, the description of the scenes between Asher and Sawyer is nothing short of glorious.

In fact, every single word in The Deeper He Hurts is a thing of beauty. I had so many sentences and paragraphs highlighted in this book it was almost embarrassing. Picking my favourites to share here almost broke my heart, but I managed it.

Sawyer is lonely, and the care Asher takes with him the first time he inflicts his pain is a stark reminder of that loneliness. Especially since the relief only lasts as long as the pain lingers; as soon as it lessens Sawyers need to isolate himself resurfaces with a vengeance, except now he’s had a taste of what could be.

“And he gave him all of it.

Every ounce of the hurt and pleasure that blinded his sight and trembled from his core. The well of emptiness that could only be filled by the pain. The years of isolation and loneliness he’d blocked into survival.

The crazy, mounting yearning to be held. To live instead of survive.

It flew from him until there was nothing left.

Nothing put the pain.”

Ash’s reflections on Sawyer’s self inflicted scars made me pause for thought. Self-harm is of course damaging, but it’s worthwhile reflecting on what it gives to those who indulge in such an escape.

“Whatever had caused every one of these marks would’ve hurt like a son of a bitch. Some deep, others more superficial, each magnificent to Ash. Where others might see ugly and deformed, he saw strength. Courage. Agony challenged and defeated.”

Sawyer needs the pain, even if it is a mixed blessing.

“Every ache was a testament to how alive he was.”

Sawyer feels as guilty about being alive as he’s grateful for it even if he’s convinced he shouldn’t be. He needs the pain to remind himself he’s living, while it also reminds him of those who don’t anymore. He’s pushed his feelings aside for so long, he’s no longer sure who he is and what he’d find if he allowed himself to really look into the heart of himself. Until Sawyer finds the courage to give and feel fully; I’m not ashamed to admit that I cheered—out loud—when that happened.

“His orgasm built from his groin but burst from his heart. It slammed through every fiber, tore from his chest in a long cry, and pierced through the hurt to wipe out the pain.”

The Deeper He Hurts tells a pain filled story without ever becoming overly angsty. It drew me into the minds and lives of two men I couldn’t help loving and rooting for. The sex scenes between them, both those centred around pain and those that were only about giving and receiving tenderness and love, touched me deeply. And just when I thought I’d given all my emotions to this book I came to the dedication which describes this wonderful, amazing, touching and heart-warming story better than I ever could:

“To those who’ve hurt, those who’ve healed, and those who’ve walked the line between both. And to those who understand that sometimes you have to hurt in order to heal.”

Lynda Aicher has never let me down. Every single one of her books made a lasting impression on me. And while I didn’t think it was possible, it is safe to say that she’s getting better with every subsequent book.

Related review: The Harder He Falls

Pre-order / Buy links: Amazon       Amazon UK

The Harder He Falls by Lynda Aicher, a pre-release review

The Harder He Falls by Lynda Aicher

Pages: 224

Date: May 31, 2016

Details: No. 1 Kick

            ARC received from NetGalley

E-book

The blurb:

Expert whitewater-rafting guide Grady Kelley lives for that rush of adrenaline: at work, as the newest employee of a Portland-based outdoor-adventure sports company, and off the river, where liaisons with anonymous men keep him satisfied. Grady prefers no drama and no strings attached, but when tragedy strikes, fate leads him to Micah Swaine. He’s hot, masculine, distracting—and offers the kind of deeper connection Grady has sworn off, no matter how badly he craves it.

Working at a leather bar, Micah meets a lot of guys, but Grady’s different—and he seems to feel the same way. The trouble is, anything beyond casual sex is too risky for Micah. He’s got secrets he doesn’t know how to share, secrets that would make any relationship a battlefield. No man, even one as compassionate as Grady, would stick around for that kind of trouble. And yet, as physical desire melts the walls they’ve put up, Micah and Grady discover that trusting each other is the most exhilarating adventure of all.

My thoughts:

“I want you, Micah. I want everything you offered and was too late to take. I want to give you my power and make you take it. I want to wake up in your arms and hold you when you’re lost. I want…all of it. But I have no fucking clue why you’d ever want me.” – Grady

How do you forge a relationship when both men involved are convinced they’re not good enough for the other? That is basically the crux of this wonderful story.

Grady has so much to deal with. His upbringing haunts him, an earlier relationship has him distrusting BDSM, and he blames himself for his cousin Finn being in a coma. Closing himself off from others and running from anything that even looks like intimacy or connection is the only option he sees for himself.

Micah…oh Micah. I fell hard for this man. The after effects of the coma he’s been in, appear to limit his life in numerous ways. But despite all the obstacles his condition creates for him, he forges ahead, first to create a life for him and then to support a man who is about to fall apart. Grady may not know it, but he needs Micah like he needs air. But Micah needs Grady just as much.

The attraction between these two men is obvious from the moment they meet and the one constant between them. For reasons he can’t quite explain to himself, Grady allows himself to let go of some of his self-imposed restrictions and his resulting coming together with Micah is a thing of beauty.

“Tangling with Micah was the ultimate rush of danger. He was flying free with no crash helmet or safety pads. Reckless. Stupid. Risky. But he had nothing to lose—except his pride.” – Grady

I loved how the tense moments between these two men were not misunderstandings, huge fights or shouting matches. When these two found themselves on opposite sides, they were met with compassion, understanding and patience from the other. They don’t try to keep their distance from each other because they don’t trust the other; it is because they don’t trust themselves to be what the other needs…deserves.

“Everyone has something that sucks in their life. It’s all about learning to deal with it and moving on.” – Micah

I’ve been rambling again, and you know what that means. J I adored this story. I fell hard for Micah and couldn’t help hurting for Grady. Their story held me spellbound. And I can’t wait to read the rest of this series. I want to know the stories of the other men at Kick and I need poor Finn to get his own story and happy ending.

“None of us are lily white and issue free. Relationships are about loving someone despite their shit. Maybe because of it.” – Dane

This book will be released June 7, 2016. 

Buy Links:            Amazon         Amazon UK