TITLE:
BONDS OF DENIAL
AUTHOR:
LYNDA AICHER
Pages:
281
Date:
03/02/2014
Grade:
5
Details:
No. 5 Wicked Play
Received from Carina Press
Through NetGalley
Own
/ Kindly
The
blurb:
It’s
been twenty years since Rockford Fielding’s father punished him for kissing
another boy. Now a grown man with a military career behind him, Rock continues
to deny his true desires, even while working security at The Den, the most
decadent sex club in town. But after a year of watching gorgeous Carter
Montgomery come and go on the arms of other men, Rock can no longer resist the
cravings he’s denied for so long.
Carter
has just four months left on his contract with an escort agency, and he doesn’t
know whether to feel relieved or afraid. Being an escort is all he knows.
Adding to his confusion is the way his latest client, the sexy but stoic Rock,
makes him feel things he hasn’t wanted in years.
One
charmingly awkward date turns into two and soon the men are meeting off the
clock. But with Rock in the closet and Carter unsure how to pursue a real
relationship how can they build a future both in and out of the bedroom?
----------------------------------------------------------
My
thoughts:
When
I finished my review of ‘Bonds of Hope’
I mentioned I really wanted to read Rock’s story. The tough and standoffish man
in charge of security at The Den had intrigued me more with every subsequent ‘Wicked Play’ title. Sometimes wishes
come true and this one not only got fulfilled, it also exceeded all my
expectations and hopes. In fact, I think Rock and Carter’s story is my
favourite in this series so far.
From
the very start of the book it was impossible not to fall a little bit in love
with both Rock and Carter. The courage it takes for Rock to, after 34 years of
denial, at last acknowledge his feelings and explore his gay nature is
astounding and Lynda Aicher does a wonderful job describing the struggle inside
this man. The conflict between his attraction to Carter and his need to explore
that feeling, and the shame and fear he experiences just thinking about the
fact that he actually is attracted to another man was both powerful and
heartbreaking. Carter’s patience with the man who doesn’t seem to be able to
admit to his wants and needs was tender and beautiful even before they
exchanged their paid encounters for simple dates.
There’s
so much angst in this story. We’re 26% into it, watching Rock’s third meeting,
be it first date, with Carter before he can admit out loud, to both himself and
the man he hungers for, that he is gay. But once Rock takes that first step,
there is no holding him back. A weight has been lifted of his shoulders and for
the first time in his life he feels as if he is allowed to be who he is.
“Each
step was one more away from something and closer to another. That was always
true, only this was the first time he was actively looking forward to where he
was going.” - Rock
Carter’s
character is equally beautiful. When we meet him we’re introduced to a
confident man, not ashamed of what he does for a living and compassionate
enough to take the time it takes for Rock to come to terms with his needs. It
is only as the story unfolds and Rock and Carter get closer that the escort’s
insecurities surface. Fourteen years in the business have left their mark.
Carter may claim to be unashamed of his work he is not sure he is able to live
without it. What is more, he can’t help being afraid that sooner rather than
later Rock will leave him because of it. He knows that good things don’t last
for people like him and it isn’t long before he is pushing the man he is
falling for away, convinced that it is better to reject than to be rejected.
I
loved when the roles reversed. Rock, his decision made had no doubts and was
prepared to burn his ships behind him if that was what it took to live the life
he was meant to live with the man he has fallen for. When Carter’s insecurities
threaten to tear them apart it is Rock who has the patience and courage to do
what is necessary to proof that his love is real, that he has confidence in his
lover and wants to spend the rest of his life with him.
“Thank
you”, he mumbled. “For what?” “Holding me”. “Anytime”. Rock said, his arms
cinching tighter. “Anytime.”
The
lengths Rock goes to go to in order to proof both his willing embrace of his
true nature and his love for Carter had me reading with tears in my eyes.
“I’ll
always come back for you. Always.” – Rock
Tears
that returned when, at long last, Carter was able to believe his lover’s
feelings and commitment.
“God,
I love you. I don’t know how I got you, but I am never pushing you away again.”
–
Carter
While
this series may be set around the owners of a BDSM club, this book doesn’t
contain any elements of Domination and submission. And this story didn’t lack
anything as a result. In fact, throwing the BDSM dynamic into this story on top
of the angst and the M/M story-line would probably have been overkill. This was
a perfect read; fantastic characters, a wonderful romance, a captivating and
believable story and lots of realistic angst. I really couldn’t ask for more.
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