303 Pages
# 1 Tease and Denial
Own / E-book
The blurb
Grif believes he’ll live his life as a virgin.
After all, who would want him? How could anyone find him, a guy who came with
less than man-sized equipment, worthy of their love?
What he hadn’t counted on were the two amazing
men who would change his life. After entering college, he meets Tate, his
fun-loving roommate. While years later, with Tate now just a memory, Wes, a
handsome, rugged ex-marine who runs his own security firm enters his life.
Both men lead Grif through a twisted mesh of
pleasure, pain, and denial, as they force him to see his value, despite his
size and insecurities.
Tags: GAY,
EROTICA, BDSM, DEGRADATION, HUMILIATION, SPH
My thoughts
I wonder if I’m the only one who postpones reading
certain books because I’m convinced it’s going to be one of those extra special
reads and I know that looking forward to one day opening the book is almost as
good as reading it will be. After all, I can only read a book for the first
time once. Grif’s Toy was such a book for me and the only reason I
managed to force myself to dive in now, is because I know the sequel ‘Wes’ Denial’ is only a few weeks away from being released.
So, I hear you ask, did the book live up to my
expectations?
The short answer is ‘yes’, and then some. I think it
took me exactly half a page to fall for Grif, hard. The whole story is told
from his point of view, and his mind was a thing of wonder. In almost every
aspect of his life he’s confident and sure of himself, he’s smart, he’s funny
and he’s loyal to a fault, without ever coming across as being too good to be
true. The one big hang-up in his life is the size of his penis. He’s only a
teenager when he first realises how small he is compared to other boys his age,
and in that moment he makes up his mind that he will never share this, what he
feels is a humiliation, with anybody else.
Enter first Tate and then Wes. Both men see all of
Grif and both of them, eventually, manage to convince Grif that the size of his
penis is not the defining factor when it comes to how they see him, even while (or maybe because) they use what Grif sees almost as his deformity, for their own and Grif’s
pleasure.
This story is not written linearly. The story jumps
back and forth, showing pivotal moments in Grif’s life and in his relationships
with the two men who pull him out of his self-imposed solitary confinement. While it did mean I had to concentrate that little bit harder and pay close attention to the chapter headings, I’m grateful the author told the story like that. The fact that I knew from the
start that Grif was in a loving, be it unconventional, relationship and happy
there, made it possible for me to read all that had gone before without being a
nervous wreck. And I’m in awe of the way Joseph Lance Tonlet managed to juggle
all the scenes in such a way that I could easily see how the past influenced
the present. Without Tate, Grif probably wouldn’t have been ready for Wes, and
because a Wes chapter would either precede or follow a Tate chapter it was
possible for me to pinpoint the moments in the past that made the present development
plausible.
It wasn’t easy to get my head around the fact that
what I thought would be hard to read and dark turned out to be gloriously
beautiful and deeply touching. The thing is, I don’t get humiliation. I can’t
imagine deriving any pleasure or excitement either from humiliating someone
else or being humiliated myself, and I fully expected to be turned off by that
aspect of the story. Imagine my surprise when I wasn’t; quite the opposite in
fact.
“Bringing you to tears gives me so much
pleasure. You are so beautiful.” - Wes
The first time I read that sentiment all my hackles
went up and I was all ‘but that’s just wrong’. Except that it wasn’t. Not when
Grif’s thoughts are:
“…every time I revealed more, made myself more
vulnerable, there was every possibility that he’d use it against me in the most
painful, and thus pleasurable, ways imaginable.” - Grif
I don’t think it was the humiliation itself that
worked for me. What hooked me was the coming together of two men who are meant
for each other because their needs and desires mirror and complement each other’s
perfectly.
“And there it was, the key combination. Sure, I
enjoyed the submission, the pain and the denigration. But it was the
combination—the indubitable knowledge—that he enjoyed my submission, inflicting
the pain, and delivering denigration, as much as I enjoyed receiving it. That’s
where the complete bliss lay.” - Grif
That is all any of us wants; a partner who fits
perfectly into our personal reality. And the coming together or first Grif and
Tate and then Grif and Wes was a thing of beauty that touched me deeply even
while Grif’s desires and emotions continued to confuse me. And it’s a really
strange experience to truly enjoy reading about something you realise you don’t
actually like as soon as you stop and think about it for a few minutes. To be
honest, the whole humiliation thing messed with my head, be it in the most
amazing way. Because while Gif finds satisfaction in being humiliated, the fact
that he does makes him feel no end of humiliation. So either it is a gift that
keeps on giving or …. And that’s where my imagination and words fail me. All I
know is that the concept keeps on spinning through my mind, and that it will in
all likelihood continue to do so for a long time. Especially since I not only
found it fascinating but, much to my surprise, also very hot.
I think this is only the second time in my long
reading history that I’ve completely fallen in love with characters although I
don’t understand what they give to and get from each other and couldn’t, with
the best will in the world, imagine myself in their positions. My mind truly is
a wondrous thing at times.
I did it again, didn’t I? I wrote a long and rambling
review and chances are nobody except me will have any idea exactly what I was
trying to say here. So allow me to try and summarise my thoughts and feelings.
I adored this book. It was exquisitely written and touched
me in ways few, if any, books have touched me before. I’m always grateful when
I find a book that surprises me, makes me stop and think, question myself and
what I thought I knew, and forces me to broaden my horizons. Grif’s Toy did all those things. Grif and Wes will stay with
me for days, if not weeks, to come. And I’m so grateful I postponed reading
this book until the release of Wes’
Denial
had been announced. I can’t wait to spend more time with these two men and have
them broaden my horizons even further.
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