The Map of Salt & Stars by Jennifer Zeynab Joukhadar

Reading Group Read

357 pages

Blurb

The story of two girls living eight hundred years apart—a modern-day Syrian refugee seeking safety and a medieval adventurer apprenticed to a legendary mapmaker.

It is the summer of 2011, and Nour has just lost her father to cancer. Her mother, a cartographer who creates unusual, hand-painted maps, decides to move Nour and her sisters from New York City back to Syria to be closer to their family. But the country Nour’s mother once knew is changing, and it isn’t long before protests and shelling threaten their quiet Homs neighborhood. When a shell destroys Nour’s house and almost takes her life, she and her family are forced to choose: stay and risk more violence or flee as refugees across seven countries of the Middle East and North Africa in search of safety. As their journey becomes more and more challenging, Nour’s idea of home becomes a dream she struggles to remember and a hope she cannot live without.

More than eight hundred years earlier, Rawiya, sixteen and a widow’s daughter, knows she must do something to help her impoverished mother. Restless and longing to see the world, she leaves home to seek her fortune. Disguising herself as a boy named Rami, she becomes an apprentice to al-Idrisi, who has been commissioned by King Roger II of Sicily to create a map of the world. In his employ, Rawiya embarks on an epic journey across the Middle East and the north of Africa where she encounters ferocious mythical beasts, epic battles, and real historical figures.

Review

“The winter before Baba went in the earth, he never missed a bedtime story. Baba made my favourite one, the story of the mapmaker’s apprentice, last two whole months. Mama listened at the door, getting Baba a glass of water when he got hoarse. When he lost his voice, I told the ending. Then the story was ours…”

This is a very hard book for me to review.

For the most part, I adored this book. It’s gloriously written with the words providing such evocative details that it is almost possible to see the scenes, smell the aromas, and feel the sensations. This vividness is only enhanced by the fact that young Nour has synesthetes which means that she perceives the spoken word in color. It is impossible to read her tale and not become fully aware of the horrors of war and the desperate situation refugees find themselves in. In fact, this book would have been an almost endless list of the horrors those who are unlucky enough to find themselves in parts of the world torn apart by war and conflict find themselves in, if it hadn’t been for the story about Rawiya, which, while fictional, runs parallel with Nour’s tale.

Rawiya and her ‘straight from a thousand and one nights’ adventure are a perfect addition to this story. Rawiya’s voyage and adventures show many parallels with the journey Nour and her family are forced to undertake. But because it’s a fairytale, Rawiya’s obstacles and dangerous encounters are all overcome through a mixture of bravery and good old fashioned good luck.

The addition of Rawiya’s tale is also a clever device in that the story gives eleven year young Nour a frame of reference the real world can’t provide. Nour has to learn about the harsh realities of life under the most dire of circumstances. It’s a crash course in growing up for her while she learns that the world is sometimes anything but friendly, welcoming, or save.

Having said all that, I did have one major issue with this story and that is that too me, Nour never read as an 11 year young girl. The words she uses and the thoughts she has sounded much older than she is supposed to be.

“I wonder if almost can cost you as much as did, if the real wound is the moment you understand that you can do nothing.”

This quote of Nour’s thoughts after she and her older sister are attacked by men, sounds like something a grown up might think, not the musings of a child, no matter how fast she has to grow up.

So, I’m a bit torn. The story touched me deeply. I loved the clever parallels between the fictional story and Nour’s reality. I loved the metaphor provided by the maps, which detail so much more than 'just' the places we live in and travel through. And I was impressed at how the author managed to make this story both a vivid and stark reflection of the reality refugees face and a convincing coming of age story. I’m just not convinced Nour’s voice was appropriate for a character her age and, unfortunately, that fact did pull me out of the story once or twice. No matter how beautiful, at times poetic even, the dialogue and thoughts were, I never really believed they were Nour’s. Which is why I’m giving this memorable, thought-provoking, and gorgeously written story ‘only’ four stars.

Truth & Betrayal by K.C. Wells - Release Day Review

403 Kindle Pages

Buy links: Amazon US | Amazon UK

Available in KU

Blurb

All the light went out of Jake’s life when his older brother Caleb died in a traffic accident. Getting through the aftermath was always going to be the hardest thing he’d ever done, but finding out that the tall stranger at the graveside was the one driving the car? At least Jake now has a target for all the rage inside him. Because the man responsible for stealing Caleb’s light from the world has no right to intrude on their grief. 

Liam had known deep down that it was a mistake to go to Tennessee, but he’d hoped saying goodbye to Caleb would ease the pain inside him. The hostile reception from Caleb’s family and friends comes as no surprise, and Liam flees before things get ugly. They obviously know nothing of Caleb’s life in Atlanta, and maybe it’s better that way. Caleb’s secrets can die with him. 

When Jake turns up at Caleb’s apartment to collect his brother’s possessions, what he discovers is the first shock in what is to be a series of revelations, turning Jake’s world upside down. New knowledge brings fresh pain and anguish. 

Jake isn’t the only one who’s hurting… 

Review

I have a problem. As some of you may have noticed, I’m a huge fan of K.C. Wells’ stories. All of them. Be they self-published, co-written, or under a different pseudonym, I’ve so far loved every single word from her. So what does a reviewer do when an author who almost invariably ends up with a five star rating, writes a book that surpasses everything she’s produced in the past? I can’t speak for anybody else but in my case it will probably lead to a lot of fan-girling, the over-use of superlatives, and plenty of nonsensical gushing. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Whereas most romances start of light and easy, giving the reader a (more often than not) false sense of security, only to bring them to tears and heartache sometime after the midway point, Truth & Betrayal threw me straight into the deep end where I feared I might drown in the tears caused by Jake’s pain.

Losing his Caleb, his only brother was bad enough. The fact that he never got to share a closely held secret with the older brother he adored, makes Jake’s grief even more heart-wrenching. Coming face to face with the man who drove the car in which Caleb died during his brother’s funeral, is more than Jake can take and he lashes out.

When Jake meets Liam again he soon discovers that he was an important part of Caleb’s life. It turns out that Jake wasn’t the only one with a secret he kept close to his chest. If Jake wants to learn more about his brother and the secret life he led, he’ll have to talk to Liam. Fortunately, Liam turns out to be a nice person who doesn’t hold Jake’s outburst against him and is happy to share information with Luke.

What starts as a quest for information soon turns into a developing friendship between Liam and Jake; a friendship that awakens unexpected feelings in both of them.

And so we venture into a developing romance without easy answers. Both men have to come to terms with the loss they suffered and the guilt falling for each other engenders. Jake has to face issues associated with being gay in a community where most would condemn him for his feelings and even his own family might abandon him. And then there’s the fact that Liam is black and Jake lives in a town were race relations are strained, at best. K.C. Wells deals with all of these in an honest yet sensitive manner. She doesn’t gloss over the problems they face but neither does she overstate them. I’m in awe of the way she managed to insert sometimes brutal realism into her story without ever making it harsher to prove a point. Here is a writer who knows there is no need to exaggerate because the plain truth is more than bleak enough.

And while I’m on the subject of realism; it doesn’t end with the issues Liam and Jake have to overcome to reach their happy ending. While an ordinary writer might have thought dealing with the gay and the race ‘issues’ was enough controversy for one story, this author goes a few steps further and also deals with open relationships, PrEP, and bare-back sex. And yet, the story never felt hurried, purposely controversial, or over the top.

Truth & Betrayal is a slow-burn love story, but it is so much more. It’s a coming of age story too. It’s a book about love; for families, for friends, and for that special person who completes your life. It’s a tale that will break your heart before putting it back together. The book will make you think, ask yourself questions, and make you feel every single emotion you can think of at least once. As per usual with K.C. Wells, the cast of secondary characters is fabulous and I have to say I’m delighted that one of them will be getting a story of his own in the not too distant future.

Long (and not altogether coherent) story short. Truth and Betrayal is the book to read if you want to completely lose yourself in a world filled with emotions. If you like stories and characters that will stay with you for a long time after you’ve closed your reader/paperback, you need to pick this one up. Be prepared to start with tears. It’s not impossible you’ll end with tears too, but those will be of a completely different nature.

As for the question as to what a reviewer does when a favourite author surpasses herself, the answer is simple. You add the title to your list of extra-special books and rate the book six stars, even if you won’t be able to actually award as many on Goodreads or Amazon. Because yes, Truth & Betrayal is that good.

London Dates (vol 1-5) by Brad Tanner

207 pages

Publisher: Velvet Cucumber

Buy links: Amazon US | Amazon UK

Blurb

London Dates is an MM erotic romance novel, which consists of five parts: 

1.    First Wound – young Castor arrives in London and his first romantic experience.

2.    A Man in Budgie Smugglers – that steamy weekend, Castor learns that sex can be good as just sex.

3.    Sex in the Cave – Castor goes to Edinburgh for Christmas where many surprises await, including a cave where naughty things can happen.

4.    Sputnik 2 Love – back to London, back to studies – but no, Castor isn’t falling for a fellow student, a young Russian poet called Alyosha.

5.    A Million Dollar Man – not knowing if his love is mutual is one thing, now Castor has to battle other obstacles on his path to conquer Alyosha’s heart.

London Dates is a light, emotional and humorous coming-of-age LGBT story set in London.

Review

I have to say it is very appropriate that London Dates has been published in the form of five separate parts seeing how they deal with five different stages in Castor’s coming of age / growing up process.

When Castor first arrives in London to start his studies, it is his first time away from home and his first time being attracted to / falling for another man. He meets Mike when he gets off the bus from Edinburgh and the attraction is instant and mutual. Mike is basically Castor’s first when it comes to everything related to intimacy and sex, so it’s hardly surprising that Castor falls hard and fast. Neither is surprising that he’s devastated when it appears Mike might not feel quite as deeply or be as loyal as Castor does. Thank goodness for Violet, the caretaker in his dorm who takes Castor under his wing right from the moment they first meet and provides both entertainment and moral support when he (and the reader) most needs it.

The subsequent stories take Castor’s journey further. A hook-up with a very sexy Australian in a leisure centre teaches him that attraction doesn’t necessarily have to mean deep feelings or commitment, while his trip to Edinburgh forces him to grow up fast when his parents share shocking news. A hook-up with a somewhat older man is just the distraction Castor needs to deal with what could have been a ruined Christmas.

“His lips soothe my past and future wounds.”

Everything changes when Castor first sets eyes on Alyosha, a fellow student. Castor falls head over heels and hard despite the fact that he has no idea whether or not the beautiful Russian youngster is attracted to men or returns his feelings. And when Castor at last gets what (or should I say who) he’s been longing for, it turns out there are those who would put obstacles in the way of young love. Having to stand up to the world at large is either going to bring the two young men closer together or tear them apart.

This is a charming, humorous, and touching coming of age story. Castor is absolutely adorable. He feels with all his being and he fully embraces every new experience he encounters. This is a story about growing up and young love and as such the characters experience everything profoundly. Castor’s love, when he first experiences it, is all or nothing just as his loyalty knows no bounds.

While this is basically a light-hearted coming of age tale, it doesn’t shy away from touching on heavier topics, such as the Russian attitude towards gay relationships. Personally I found this to be a comfortable balance between easy reading and thought-provoking. I also appreciated the fact that this book is almost (but not quite) angst-free.

Long story short, I thoroughly enjoyed this story and will most definitely read more by Brad Tanner.

“He straightens my bowtie and this is the moment I think I’ll always remember. It’s a first time you notice someone you love is looking after you.”

Escaping From Him by Liam Livings - Retro Review Tour & Giveaway

Author: Liam Livings

Publisher: Manifold Press

Buy Links: Amazon US Amazon UK Smashwords AllRomance

Length: 51,000 words

Blurb

Darryl’s on the run – from controlling boyfriend Chris, an air-conditioner called Dave (deceased), an intolerable, claustrophobic situation and a person he just can’t be any more. The trouble is, he doesn’t have a plan – or any money – and all he knows is he needs to get away from everything. That’s where a lucky lift to Glasgow comes in, which turns out to be just the beginning of a whole new life …

My Thoughts

“It was the heat of the summer, my inability to be comfortable in my own home, remembering things we’d talked about properly, without Chris there to correct me on my memory. All these had combined to this one feeling that I had to go. I had to leave this place and run.”

I wasn’t sure what to expect before I started this book. The reference to a ‘controlling boyfriend’ in the blurb seemed to indicate this might be a tough and darker read. But then it also talked about a ‘deceased’ air-conditioner, which definitely pointed at a sense of humour. It is always wonderful when a blurb perfectly captures both the story and the tone in which it is told; this could have been a hard and heavy story, but thanks to Darryl’s way of addressing his reading audience, this book is anything but angsty.

Darryl is a wonderful main character. He’s fully aware of the shortcomings in his life but doesn’t obsess about them. Once he decides to make his break, he’s off into the unknown, trusting that something will come his way, and boy is he right. Not only does he find safety, he also finds a group of friends who will form the family he’s never really had. Glasgow was meant to be a hiding place as far away from Chris, his domineering and older boyfriend as he can get, but instead it turns out to be home.

The book is titled Escaping From Him and while getting away from Chris is certainly the catalyst to this story, I feel that ‘Finding Himself’ would have been as appropriate a title. In fact, to me this read as a coming of age / New Adult story. Darryl was only 16 when he fled the foster system and met and moved in with Chris. Young as he was he didn’t stand a chance against Chris’s dominance and manipulation. Four years later Darryl is ready to spread his wings, to become who he was always meant to be, to learn that he can take care of himself and find his own place in the world—assuming a new first name is only the start of it.

I loved the cast of secondary characters. From the ever practical and loyal Swedish Lena, to Charlie who first introduces Darryl to the people who will form his Glaswegian family, and from Devine, the glorious drag queen to the two Gavins who are each others’ opposites and all the more perfect together for it. And Callum was just perfection both as a character and as the person Darryl needed in his life.

There were one or two moments in this book that touched me deeply, but I’ll mostly remember this book for the smiles it brought me. The chapter about the Eurovision evening especially, had me giggling and laughing out loud. I also really want to throw a ‘naff nibbles’ party now.

In short, Escaping From Him was an utterly delightful and at the same time very touching story. It would appear I have found yet another author to add to my ‘must read’ list.

Author Bio

Liam Livings lives where east London ends and becomes Essex. He shares his house with his boyfriend and cat. He enjoys baking, cooking, classic cars and socialising with friends. He escapes from real life with a guilty pleasure book, cries at a sad, funny and camp film – and he’s been known to watch an awful lot of Gilmore Girls in the name of writing ‘research’.

One evening, flicking through the channels, he stumbled across the film, Saving Private Ryan, and it took twenty minutes of not seeing Goldie Hawn in an army uniform, before he realised it wasn’t actually the film, Private Benjamin.

He has written since he was a teenager, started writing with the hope of publication in 2011. His writing focuses on friendships, British humour, romance with plenty of sparkle.

When he’s not writing fiction he runs a manuscript appraisal service, provides marketing support to authors' publishers and ghostwrites other people’s books.

You can connect with Liam

Twitter @LiamLivings

Facebook         Blog                     Website

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Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt

Tell the Wolves I’m Home by Carol Rifka Brunt

Pages: 355

Date: April 24, 2016

Grade: 5+

Details: Library Reading Group

Paperback

The blurb:

1987. There's only one person who has ever truly understood fourteen-year-old June Elbus, and that's her uncle, the renowned painter Finn Weiss. Shy at school and distant from her older sister, June can only be herself in Finn's company; he is her godfather, confidant, and best friend. So when he dies, far too young, of a mysterious illness her mother can barely speak about, June's world is turned upside down. But Finn's death brings a surprise acquaintance into June's life--someone who will help her to heal, and to question what she thinks she knows about Finn, her family, and even her own heart.

At Finn's funeral, June notices a strange man lingering just beyond the crowd. A few days later, she receives a package in the mail. Inside is a beautiful teapot she recognizes from Finn's apartment, and a note from Toby, the stranger, asking for an opportunity to meet. As the two begin to spend time together, June realizes she's not the only one who misses Finn, and if she can bring herself to trust this unexpected friend, he just might be the one she needs the most. 

My thoughts:

Oh my, what a book; heartbreaking, uplifting, thought-provoking and totally stunning. I’m so glad I finally got around to reading this wonderful debut.

I’m not quite sure how to categorize this book. It’s a coming of age story. It’s a story about first love. This book tells the tale of the aftermath of a devastating loss. Tell the Wolves I’m Home is about human imperfection and isn’t afraid to be honest about selfishness while showing there are always opportunities to redeem ourselves again.

This story deals with AIDS at a time when the disease first exploded into our consciousness. That in and of itself would be more than enough to make this a thought-provoking read. But it does more. It places the disease in the middle of other, timeless, struggles. June is only fourteen when her beloved uncle and godfather Finn dies. It is her first confrontation with the cruelty of death, and since it is the uncle she not only loves but has also fallen in love with who dies, it triggers an avalanche of feelings in her she’s just not equipped to deal with yet.

I admired the honesty of the author. June is not always a nice character to read about. Some of her feelings and actions are totally selfish—without regard for the feelings of others or potential consequences. And that’s only right. Fourteen is a tough time even when your life runs smoothly. Through June’s experiences we see the continued struggle growing up can be and while it isn’t always easy to read, it does sound true to life and was, for me at least, totally recognisable. After all, doesn’t every teenager just know that nobody has ever loved as deeply or hurt as badly as they do?

While AIDS features prominently in this story, I wouldn’t say it is a story about the disease. For me it was a story about growing up, about losing and finding again both yourself and those around you. The tale it tells was all to recognisable for me; suddenly losing the connection you’ve always had to your parents and sibling(s), the overpowering hugeness of the new feelings you experience, and the push and pull between wanting to discover the rest of your life while yearning for the simplicity of yesterday.

For me this was a poignant and brutally honest story. There are no easy answers, nor comfortable solutions. Not every issue is resolved, nor every worry erased. And while that means Tell the Wolves I’m Home wasn’t always easy to read it did make the book totally engrossing and I can say with absolute certainty that this story will play on my mind for quite some time to come.

“And then I thought something terrible. I thought that if Finn were still alive, Toby and I wouldn’t be friends at all. If Finn hadn’t caught AIDS, I would never have met Toby. (…) Then something else occurred to me. What if it was AIDS that made Finn settle down. What if even before he knew he had it, AIDS was making him slower, pulling him back to his family, making him choose to be my godfather. It was possible that without AIDS I would never have gotten to know Finn or Toby. There would be a big hole filled with nothing in place of all those hours and days I’d spent with them. If I could time-travel, could I be selfless enough to stop Finn from getting AIDS? Even if it meant I would never have him as my friend? I didn’t know. I had no idea how greedy my heart really was.” (Page 233)

A Summer of Guiltless Sex by Dan Skinner: Release Day Promo Post

A Summer of Guiltless Sex by Dan Skinner

Today I am delighted to welcome Dan Skinner to my blog with his latest release, A Summer of Guiltless Sex. Before we get to the nitty-gritty of the blurb, an excerpt and my review, here’s a guest post in which the responsibility for this particular book is resolutely dropped on one particular person. Enjoy J

Guest post: It Started with Butt-Fucking Justin Bieber

"How many guys do you think want to butt-fuck Justin Bieber?"

This is exactly how most conversations with Dirk start. There is no lead-in as to what the subject will be and there certainly isn’t any warning before he drops the bomb in your lap two seconds before detonation. It's just there and you have to deal with it. He is, of course, ADHD like myself, but I have a tendency to think about a question before it leaves my mouth.

I'd been invited to his house to have Thanksgiving with the three of them, his mother and grandmother and Dirk. He had prepared the Vegan half of the dinner for the two of us because I've been vegetarian for three plus years and he had recently converted. Me, because I wanted to lose weight and get healthy, and his reason was because he’d seen a video on FB of a pig raised with puppies who thought it was a dog. His perspective of animals had been forever altered with that moment. That's how fast his nineteen-year-old mind works and his convictions form. So you have to get used to spontaneity with him – it's a prerequisite for spending time with him.

It's also the way his ideas come to him. They're like sudden flashes, comets streaking through his stream of consciousness that fly from his lips and dazzle you with the sudden fireworks.

We'd had dinner, he was drinking a beer and I was having a tall dark roast his mom had made for her Bailey's, although mine was virgin. I'd accompanied him to his room because his mom and grandmother were engaged in a political discussion he wasn't interested in.

The door was no sooner closed than he cold-cocked me with the Justin Bieber question. "I have no idea," I said. But in reality, I do believe almost every gay guy I know, including myself, have at one time or another fantasized what the singer would look like naked in our bed. It's just the truth of the matter. He's good-looking and he's a prick tease. Though many of us think he's a douche and a jerk, we'd all – as Dirk said – "Take a lick of that nasty lollipop." We all do it. We all fantasize about things and people we know we can't possibly have. We know it will never happen, but the fantasy of having the unobtainable is irresistible.

That was the whole point of the ensuing conversation with Dirk, how he had the hots for one of the male models that I shot who was straight or possibly bi, and gorgeous. I had shot so many nudes of him it was impossible to not slobber when you looked at the photos. Dirk had used him for his personal fantasies on numerous occasions and that served as the impetus for speculation: what if circumstances put you and your fantasy in a situation that could become intimate? For real? What if fate conspired to throw the two of you together because it was safe and solved the same problem for both of you? Where does your mind go with that storyline?

We talked for a good two hours about the possibilities of an impossible relationship and before we were finished, I knew he'd given me the premise for a fun little romp of a story. Dirk had filled in all the naughty gaps with his own mental dalliances on the matter...and before I got back through the door of my house A Summer of Guiltless Sex had practically written itself from beginning to end in my head.

A week later I read the finished manuscript to him over the phone. He loved it. He said it was like a mental Bieber butt-fuck...

Muses have a tendency to be very blunt...

The blurb

Two very different men, from two walks of life find common ground for an exciting and unique adventure.

It'd not been a great beginning of the summer season for either Bill, a young bridal store clerk, or Ted, a college student working as a lifeguard at the apartment complex’s pool. They'd both been dumped in their respective relationships and were still looking for “the one.” Their chance meeting at this low ebb in their lives and an off-the-cuff remark about what they both needed as a temporary solution to their physical needs, lead to a unique and adventuresome pact between the two. They agree to be what's lacking in each other’s lives. They begin a journey of self-discovery. One that will only last the length of the summer and will forever change their lives and ideas about love and friendship. One season of guiltless sex.

Photography by Dan Skinner, found on: http://theknobgoblin.tumblr.com/

  

Excerpt

We were now looking directly at each other. I didn’t remember turning, or how we happened to end up in the eye lock, but there we were, inches apart, standing naked in a pool and talking about guiltless sex. The moment had its own compelling force, and I believed we both knew it.

    “Do you want me to kiss you?” I asked.

    “You’re the expert on it, I think it might work better that way,” he said. There was an unmistakable nervous quaver in his voice.

    I could tell by the razor straightness of his shoulders that he’d gone tense. He was also staring at me, not blinking.

    “You look like someone taking his first driving lesson,” I said. “Maybe you should relax a little.”

    He grinned nervously. “I’m trying.” He rolled his shoulders, as if trying to loosen his muscles, and then fell right back into the same rigid posture.

    I was actually not feeling that much less tense, but I had the advantage of having kissed guys before and knew it wasn’t a big deal. Slowly, I moved in closer.

    “Close your eyes,” I instructed in a soft, reassuring tone.

    “Okay.” He closed his eyes, still appearing as if he’d been cracked from a concrete mold.

    Even as uncomfortable as he was, he was visually striking. I could imagine some artist sculpting that chiseled face, and sleek neck and shoulders as a fountain centerpiece. As I moved into his space, I could feel the heat from his body. I carefully cupped my hand and took his chin. I felt the sandpaper stubble of his whiskers beneath the wetness. I closed my own eyes and aimed for the glorious target and then pressed my lips against his. My heart began beating so hard I could feel it pound behind my eyes. It emptied the blood from my head, leaving a vacancy filled with dizziness. His mouth felt wonderful, his lips full and soft and crazily magnetic to my own. I had to back away to catch my breath, which seemed to be running like a prison escapee from my lungs.

Buy link: Amazon

 My thoughts

Do you like it when a book surprises you? I love few things better. And to say that A Summer of Guiltless Sex surprised me in the best possible way, would be an understatement.

At first glance this felt and read like a lighthearted romp. Two lads with broken hearts, unfulfilled dreams, and time on their hands decide to join forces and create a memorable summer together. Throw in some sexual experimentation, and what you would end up with is a charming, uncomplicated read.

Except that A Summer of Guiltless Sex is so much more. Underneath the lighthearted banter and sexy times are two men growing up, finding out who they really are and finding the courage to live the life they were always meant to live. I highlighted so many quotes in this book, it is impossible to share them all here. At the same time, having to pick and choose is almost breaking my heart.

Ted especially is a font of wisdom when it comes to life and how we live it. I mean, don’t we all, to some extend at least, compromise our dreams away?

I have this feeling that we try to force things to happen so we can fit like a certain piece of the puzzle rather than look for where we really fit. We try to bend the corners and twist the edges to accommodate the space we think we should fit into…When we don’t belong there anyway. Who says life is supposed to be lived in a certain way? – Ted

And how true is the following quote. Bill has all but given up on his dreams, except that he still keeps them hidden away in a spare room, unable to completely push them aside. Ted’s explanation of that situation resonated with me.

Dreams don’t ever die. (…) I know. I tried to lock mine away, but the damned things kept going out. They’re like that loud drunk aunt at Christmas you wish would shut up or pass out. They keep on shouting at you. (…) Our dreams help us find ourselves. Our dreams make us whole. – Ted

And this is one of those quotes I want to print in big letters on one of the walls in my house:

Fear is temporary. Regret is permanent. Adventure is taking a chance because it’s better than the question mark if you don’t. – Ted

The following has been my personal mantra for some time now, and it was nice to find it in a book I loved, spoken by a character I adored.

“Do you think there’ll ever come a time that people can just be people and we can love each other, or whomever we want without putting labels on everything? It kinda seems like we’re trying to package something on the outside that’s far more complex on the inside. – Ted

Regretfully I’m going to stop here. For every quote I shared I deleted at least one, equally good, other one. But really, you should just go and read the book. It is filled with quotable paragraphs and I have no doubt every reader will find at least a few favourites of their own.

This is not a typical romance. Sometimes a happy ending does not mean that the two main characters end up together. Sometimes, what may appear bitter-sweet is in fact perfect.

 What I hope you got from my words above and the subsequent quotes is that this is a fabulous, touching, memorable, and captivating coming of age story—both inspired and inspirational. This was my first Dan Skinner book, but clearly it will not be my last. If this book sets the standard, I’ve got a lot of good reading ahead of me. 

FIRST by KC Wells: An ARC Review

FIRST by K.C. Wells

 

Pages: 296

Date: September 9, 2015

Details: ARC received from Author

E-book

The blurb:

“It’s taken Tommy Newsome a while to get his head around being gay.

Growing up in a small town in Georgia, hasn’t prepared him for the more liberal life of a student at the university in Athens. Add to that the teachings of his parents and his church, and you have one shy young man who feels out of his depth. Working on his daddy’s farm hasn’t given him any chance of a social life, certainly not one like the clubs of Atlanta have on offer. Not that Tommy feels comfortable when he gets to sample it—Momma’s lectures still ring loudly inside his head.

All that changes when he goes to his first gay bar and sets eyes on Mike Scott.

When Mike’s not behind the bar at Woofs, he’s busy with his life as adult entertainer Scott Masters. Twenty years in the industry and the times, they are a-changing. Mike’s not had much luck in the relationship department, but as his mom is fond of telling him, you keep fishing in the same pond, you’re gonna reel in the same kind of fish. Maybe it’s time for a change.

And then a beautiful young man asks Mike to be his first….”

My thoughts:

This is going to be a review in two parts and I’ll start with Mike and Tommy’s story. 

As love stories go this one is sweet and mesmerizing. At first glance these two characters have little to nothing in common. Innocent, young and naive Tommy stems from a very religious family living in rural backwater. While studying away from home has more or less allowed him to come to terms with the fact he’s gay, he is not the type to go out partying and searching for new experiences.

Mike on the other hand is experience personified. Not only is he confident in who he is, he’s not ashamed of his almost twenty-year long career in porn either. If he has an issue with his chosen profession it is that the men he has dated in the past couldn’t deal with it and left him over it.

Despite the differences between them, the attraction between Mike and Tommy is instant. In fact the attraction on Tommy’s part is so strong that despite his shyness he continues to visit the club where Mike works as a bartender every Saturday night, just to be able to admire the man from a distance.

When the two men at last do come together it is a thing of beauty. The intimacy between them is as hot as it is tender. It almost makes you feel every virgin should have the opportunity to receive their introduction into sex at the hands of an older and very considerate partner.

While I wouldn’t call this an angsty book I have to admit that at times it was hard not to read this book with tiny knots in my stomach. When Tommy thinks about sex in these terms: “There are just some things you don’t talk about”, it’s impossible not to hold your breath and wait for trouble to arrive. I mean, if he can’t bring himself to talk about it, how on earth is he going to deal with Mike’s career in porn. In fact, the certainty that a crisis was awaiting these two characters I’d gotten so very attached to, kept me on a knife edge while reading. And yet when the issue of Mike’s career does explode between them, Tommy managed to surprise me. I don’t want to say too much about this because that would constitute a major and unforgivable spoiler but I would like to add that I love originality in my characters and Tommy certainly doesn’t react like the vast majority of characters in other books I’ve read.

Both Tommy and Mike were very easy characters to love. Tommy’s innocence when the book starts borders on being too much of a sweet thing. Watching him grow into himself and his relationship with Mike is a thing of beauty though and by the time the story ends he may have lost some of his innocence, he hasn’t lost any of his sweetness and his inner strength took my breath away. And before you think this makes him sound like a too good to be true character, let me reassure you; while he may be sweet he is never less than human and believable.

Mike, the more experienced person in this relationship both due to his age and his chosen career, is not always the more sensible of the two. And that gave the story a wonderful depth. It would have been so easy for Tommy to be the cause of the trouble they run into, but he isn’t. While he is younger in years, Tommy turns out to be one with the more sensible and level head on his shoulders when push comes to shove. 

And that’s it for the first part of my review; an awful lot of words to tell you how much I adored this story.  

Everything I wrote above would have been more than enough to rate this book five stars. What raises this book to the level of ‘extra-special’ is the way it deals with and the insight it gives us into the workings of the porn industry.

Gay for pay and bareback sex are not subjects I’d given a lot of thought to before reading this book. Obviously I’d heard about both, I just hadn’t paid much attention to them, other than to totally disapprove of bareback sex under almost all circumstances.

I’ve read stories set in the world of porn before but this was the first time I felt I got a real insight into that industry, where it has been, where it’s at and where it is going – and the picture isn’t always pretty. I walked away from this book feeling I had a better idea of what working in that industry is like on levels you could never get from ‘just’ watching a porn scene. The reflections on the porn industry in this book felt at times personal and that added an extra level to the reading experience. I usually rush my way through KC Wells’ books because she captivates me in the first paragraph and keeps me hooked until the very last word. And that was true for this story too; when I’ll re-read First, it will be in a reading marathon. But I forced myself to slow down for this book. I wanted to think about things and read between the lines. And that’s what made this book extra special.

Well that and Tommy and Mike and the wonderful secondary characters in their lives. Tommy’s adopted family and Mike’s colleagues were fun and enriched an already wonderful story. And then there is the cover. I rarely, if ever, remark on covers. While I like beautiful covers as much as the next person, they rarely influence whether or not I’ll take a closer look at a title. This cover speaks to my heart though. For the first time ever I may have to buy a printed copy of a book I already have on my Kindle because the image on my reader is too hidden for my liking.