I’m delighted to welcome Brigham Vaughn
and her latest novel, Bully & Exit to my blog today. Sit back and enjoy her
guest post, information about the book, an excerpt and the opportunity to win
one of three e-book copies of her book. If you’re curious about my thoughts on
this book you can find my review here.
Now I'll hand you over to Brigham.
Now I'll hand you over to Brigham.
*****
I drew on my own life experience to
write “Bully & Exit”.
I became involved in theater in
elementary school when I played the queen in “The Princess and the Pea” in a
school play. I went on to become
involved in community theater, and in high school, took part in the
performances the drama club put on. I was in the International Thespian Society
(and yes, I heard allll the International Lesbian Society jokes).
Like Caleb in “Bully & Exit”, I
ate, slept, and breathed theater. I
acted in all of the plays while assistant directing two of them. I took part in set building, costume sewing,
and ticket sales. I was the go-to girl
for the guys who needed help applying eyeliner and tying ties. I lived in that magical space in the west
wing of my high school and spent more time there than I did at home.
The drama freaks were my tribe and we
banded together against the popular kids.
There was always a weird tension there, and it wasn’t until later in
life I realized that in many ways, the popular kids seemed a little in
awe/terrified of us. A group of us went
to senior prom dressed in dresses that ranged from medieval times to The Civil
War (mine was Colonial America c. 1776).
Several of the football players and cheerleaders approached us and said,
“Wow, you guys look amazing but I’d never have the guts to do that.”
I wasn’t bullied in high school (girls
rarely were unless they were actively trying to become popular and I never
cared), but I wasn’t out as a bisexual then either. Everyone in drama club knew—hell, cast
parties were where I kissed girls—and it was a safe space. In some ways, it’s probably easier for girls
overall, but the bisexual guys were welcomed too. And yeah, even then I enjoyed seeing two guys
kiss.
I spent endless hours curled up in a
pile of people; snuggling, getting backrubs, and enjoying human contact. I miss that.
I miss a lot about theater, although the online community of writers
I’ve found in the LGBTQ romance genre feels like theater people.
There’s a similar sense of open-mindedness and inclusion. Sure, there are exceptions, but the people I
choose to surround myself with are. I’ve
found my tribe again. Sometimes I miss
the snuggles though.
Unlike Caleb, I didn’t pursue a career
in theater. I didn’t think I had the
talent and I didn’t want to have a crappy day job to support my career in the
arts. *sighs* Yeah, that worked
out. Don’t get me wrong, I love writing
and I think it’s what I was meant to do, but sometimes I wonder what would have
happened if I’d pursued drama. Probably
not as an actress, but I think I could have been a very decent director. I suppose though, in some ways, it’s not that
different than writing. Rather than
working with live people, I set stages with characters from my own head using
the words on the page.
There are times I wish I could be
involved in community theater again. It’s time consuming though and when I love
something I don’t do it halfway. I throw
myself in wholeheartedly and immerse myself in it. I can’t do that with writing
and theater.
The backstage and prop loft I described
in “Bully & Exit”? Yeah, that was taken from my own memories. The dusty
green couch Nathan and Caleb got to know each other on? Yeah, I had dreams
about doing that with my high school crush.
We never got our timing right, but we did spend three years flirting
awkwardly and this scene from “Bully & Exit” came straight from life.
“Is it always this hot up here?” Nathan
muttered.
“Yeah, pretty much.” Caleb looked away,
staring at the racks upon racks of costumes from previous shows.
“Seriously, feel this.” Nathan’s hand
closed around Caleb’s wrist, gently tugging. Caleb struggled to maintain his
balance, and his left hand landed on Nathan’s hip, the other on his chest, palm
pressed against the hot, hard muscle there. It should have been
disgusting—Nathan was dripping with sweat—but Caleb’s breath hitched, and his
eyes rose to meet Nathan’s. Lips parted, eyes locked on Caleb, Nathan’s fingers
slipped between Caleb’s. He slowly dragged their joined hands across his chest
until they rested right over his heart.
Unlike Caleb, in high school, I never
got the guy (or the girl) but oh, did I have fun. If I close my eyes I can still smell raw
lumber, greasepaint, and the dusty smell of velvet curtains. I can feel the heat from the stage lights and
the throat-gripping nerves before every performance. Nothing beats the high of
a standing ovation, although a great review comes pretty close.
It was a joy reliving some of my high school memories as I wrote and immersing myself in the world of theater again was wonderful. Nathan and Caleb are dear to my heart and I hope you enjoy reading “Bully & Exit” as much as I enjoyed writing it.
****
About the book:
“What happens when the past won’t let
you go?”
Summary:
Theater student Caleb Stockwell is
ready to leave college behind. Too bad his past isn’t ready to let him go.
With less than a month to go until
graduation, Caleb runs into Nathan Rhodes at a house party. Nathan is a star hockey player for Western
Michigan University and finally ready to step out of the closet. He’s also the guy who broke Caleb’s heart in
high school.
Nathan’s determined to make amends for
what he did four years ago, but Caleb isn’t willing to risk getting his heart
stomped on again. With only a few weeks
left before they go their separate ways, it’ll take all of Nathan’s creativity
and help from some interfering friends to convince Caleb to give him a second
chance.
Excerpt:
Nathan’s voice was soft when he spoke, gentle as it’d always
been. “Caleb Stockwell. I’ve been looking for you.”
Caleb cleared his throat and ignored him, tipping the bottle
up for another long drink. He licked the spiciness from his lips as he debated
making another run for it. There was a shrub blocking his way in one direction
and a hockey player in the other. Even if he hadn’t been drinking, the odds
weren’t in his favor. “Nathan Rhodes,” he managed.
“Damn, I can’t believe it’s you!” Nathan leaned in, and
Caleb pulled back, uncomfortable with him being so close.
Caleb laughed bitterly. “It’s me. Now that you’ve satisfied
your curiosity, you can run along.” He motioned with his hand, encouraging
Nathan to leave.
“It’s really good to see you,” Nathan said, ignoring him. He
took a seat on the pile of discarded construction materials, his knees brushing
Caleb’s as he lowered himself down. Caleb pulled away as if scorched.
“Yeah? Too bad I can’t say the same,” he muttered, his head
swimming as the alcohol began to hit him. He eyed Nathan’s long, long legs and
the way he was pinned in by them, remembering the way they’d felt tangled with
his as they came, panting shallowly against each other’s skin. It brought it
all back: the scent of Nathan’s cologne, the taste of his skin, the way Caleb’s
heart raced in his chest when Nathan held him close. It brought back the
memories, the ones he’d worked so hard to run from. The good and the bad.The
sharp, intense happiness of falling for Nathan. The aching, crushing hurt that
paralyzed Caleb for months after Nathan was no longer in his life. Everything
he’d buried four years ago and vowed never to touch again.
He caught the first glimpse of doubt on Nathan’s face. “Are
you okay, Caleb?”
“Oh, I’m motherfucking peachy,” he snarked and took another
long drink. “I’ve made it through four fucking years trying to ignore the fact
we’re on the same campus, and with barely a month left in my senior year, I
thought maybe I’d managed to pull it off. But, no, Lowell had to drag me to
this goddamn party, and, of course, you showed up too. Just my luck.”
He raised the bottle again, but Nathan wrapped a hand around
the neck and tugged. He was stronger than Caleb, so Caleb let go, afraid he’d
end up getting pulled onto Nathan’s lap if he didn’t. Nathan took a drink and
passed the bottle back, licking the taste of rum off his lips before he spoke.
“You’re so angry at me.”
“Ya think?” Caleb snarled. “Didn’t it ever occur to you I
would be? What the hell makes you think you can waltz in here and pretend like
all the shit that went down between us didn’t happen?” He tried to stand, but
Nathan’s dark denim-clad knees were on either side of his, pinning him in
place. The bottle was pried from his suddenly limp fingers and set aside.
“I don’t think that,” Nathan protested. “I was just glad to
see you, and I… I wanted a chance to apologize. I didn’t … I wanted …”
Caleb’s lips parted in surprise as cool fingers framed his
face, and for the first time in four long years, Nathan’s lips were pressed to
his again. Involuntarily, Caleb’s eyes closed, feeling a rush of heat wash over
him, taking him right back to the first time. Before Nathan broke his heart.
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