BALLS UP by Kate Aaron

BALLS UP by Kate Aaron

 

Pages:          310

Date:           June 6, 2015

Details:        No. 2 Blowing It

                   Copy received from author

E-book

The blurb:

Owen Barnes’s life is finally going the way he wants. He’s making a living as an author, and his relationship with building surveyor Magnus Cassidy is going from strength to strength. 

When Owen finds a lump, he buries his head in the sand. He’s too busy for doctor appointments and besides, it’s probably nothing. He pushes concern away and is soon swept up in a whirlwind of distractions. His best friend’s husband is falling apart and Owen needs to be strong for them, not burdening them with his fears.

He says he’ll deal with it when the new book is released, when Ryan and Sameer are more stable, when he’s done writing. Owen has a hundred excuses to hide one simple fact: he’s scared.

Eventually Magnus drags him to the doctor, and the news isn’t good. Can Owen cope with the unexpected turn events have taken, or is his perfect life about to go balls up?

My thoughts:

I finished reading Balls Up some time ago and have been procrastinating about writing this review ever since. Not because I have any doubts about how I feel about this book or because I didn’t like it as much as I hoped I might, quite the opposite. The reason I have been and still am reluctant to articulate my thoughts, is that I’m afraid I can’t do it without it a) turning into a gush-fest and b) getting way too personal. For what it’s worth I’ll give it a shot, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I loved, loved, loved Balls Up. Before starting the book I had one or two reservations about reading a book in which one of the characters battles cancer but I dove in anyway because I trusted Kate Aaron to treat the subject right.

It would be very easy to turn this review into a novella in its own right, while I give a blow by blow account of everything I thought and felt while reading this book; my frustration with Owen when he refuses to go to the doctor, my continued frustration with him when he won’t tell his friends and family that he’s ill, my sympathy for him as he comes face to face with all the indignities accompanying hospital stays and intrusive treatments and... I could go on.

This book touched me on a very deep and personal level. No, I’ve never personally faced cancer but I have been through the medical system on more than one occasion and know what it’s like to stare death in the face and keep on going regardless. I know how frustrating it is when your independence is slowly stripped away and you find yourself depending on others for things you’d rather keep private. I know that sense of betrayal when your body lets you down and the anger and frustration that leads to. But also, I know how amazing it feels to have someone in your life who doesn’t bat an eye-lid, who supports you despite the cost to themselves, who loves you no matter what you look like or how undignified your situation may be.

For me Kate Aaron’s amazing talent was at its most obvious when she could take me back and re-experience all those emotions without making me cry. While Owen and I fought very different battles there wasn’t an emotion he felt I didn’t instantly recognize nor a situation he found himself in I hadn’t experienced too. That should have made this a hard if not impossible book for me to read. Much to my surprise it was the exact opposite.

I need a few words to talk about Magnus. Just as Kate got the trials Owen goes through exactly right, she was also spot-on when it came to her descriptions of the loving and supportive partner. In fact, she got it so right I’d forgotten what Magnus was supposed to look like by the time I was half way through the book; in my head he’d taken on the appearance of my husband and nobody can convince me that’s not what he looks like.

This is, without a doubt, (one of) the best book(s) I’ve read this year. The story took me through every emotion imaginable only to leave me uplifted by the time the story ended. I can’t begin to tell you how amazing this book is. I can tell you that you’d be doing yourself a great disservice if you did not read it.

BLOWING IT by Kate Aaron

BLOWING IT by Kate Aaron

 

Pages: 310

Date: Feb 23, 2015

Details: copy received from Author

Kindle

The blurb:

“Owen Barnes never expected writing to make him rich, much less with a YA novel written for a bet. Being nominated for the Carnegie Medal, the most prestigious award a children’s author can win, is a dream come true. But Owen’s newfound fame comes at a price, and not just changing his surname to Black.

Gruff, gentle building surveyor Magnus Cassidy is the first man to catch Owen’s interest in almost two years. Owen’s agent, Max, might be trying to control his image, but Magnus sees the real Owen: the eyeliner, drainpipe jeans, and sexy underwear, not the Young Conservative in a tweed jacket Max is turning him into.

When a photo of Owen and Magnus appears online, just weeks before the Carnegie ceremony, Max starts damage limitation. Out and proud since he was fourteen, Owen isn’t going back into the closet without a fight, and he refuses to let his agent erase Magnus from his life. Encouraged by his friends, Owen lashes out, not realising his behaviour could hurt the man he’s doing it all for. Can Owen find a way to reconcile his public and private lives, or has he already blown it?

Contents: passive tops and slutty bottoms, bitchy best friends, bad jokes, sexy underwear, an excess of beards, and a smattering of angst. May contain nuts.”

My thoughts:

“...that’s what love is. It’s giving someone the power to hurt you and believing they won’t.”

There’s something magical about Kate Aaron’s writing. When I read the Free Men trilogy a few months ago I fell in love with Kate’s words, her characters and her descriptions of the world they live in. Since Free Men is a fantasy while Blowing it is a contemporary romance, there are an endless amount of differences between the stories. There are powerful similarities as well though. Both books contain characters so clearly drawn you can see and hear them. The descriptions in both books are so well worded the surroundings are easy to picture. And both stories draw you in from the first paragraph and refuse to let you go again until you’ve read the last word.

I love that Kate Aaron isn’t afraid to write flawed characters. It is because neither Owen nor Magnus is perfect they work so well. They were real and beautiful, smart and silly, stubborn and forgiving, understanding and unreasonable and totally recognisable because of it.

Although this story does contain its share of angst, this is for the most part a light-hearted, sweet and at times very funny story, yet it deals with a serious subject. How sad is it that we live in a world where people are made to hide who they are because being true to themselves might mean the end of their career. And that is NOT a fictional problem and it is not only a reality for people in the public eye. Only the other day a lesbian teacher entered a competition to win a dream wedding here in Ireland and felt the need to pixilate her image on her video entry.

Kate Aaron spins a web with her words and getting caught in it is a pure pleasure.

I leave you with the following quote, just because I love it.

“People think writing is a wishy-washy sort of occupation, not realising manuscripts have to be bullied into shape, whole chapters cut or rewritten, characters’ motivations tweaked or twisted or, in some cases, completely slashed and burned.”

THE MASTER

THE MASTER by Kate Aaron

 

Pages: 178 approx

Date: 24/11/2014

Grade: 5++

Grade for series: 6

Details: No. 3 Free Men

The blurb:

“Being rescued was only the start.

Otiz lies in ruins. As underlord of the region, Lysander knows where his responsibilities lie. He has an obligation to the survivors to rebuild their homes and their lives. But what about his home, his life?

Kai needs help. The damage inflicted on him goes beyond the marks left when he was tortured, but healing him might require more from Lysander than he’s capable of giving. Of one thing he’s certain: Tam and Kai will never be endangered again because of who he is, even if saving them means setting them free.

All Lysander wants is to be left in peace. To recover from the horrors of his experience at the hands of his enemies. But with pressure piling up from every angle, peace is the last thing he’s likely to find. Suffocated by guilt, Lysander begins to spiral. How can he hold everything together, when inside he’s falling apart?”

My thoughts:

Have you ever felt torn between wanting to finish a book as quickly as you possibly can because you really need to know how the story ends, and wanting to draw the reading out for as long as possible because you don’t want to ever stop spending time with these characters in their world? Well, THAT.

Also...

Do you ever get so involved in a story you want to jump into it and scream at the characters that they’re getting it wrong, that if only the paid attention they’d know everything they wanted, everything they dreamed about and everything they thought they couldn’t have was right in front of them? Well, THAT too .

To say this trilogy captured my imagination would be a gross understatement. The moment I read the first few lines of The Slave I was happily and completely lost in the story. My obsession with the tale and the three characters staring in it only became stronger while The Soldier ripped my heart apart and put it back together. I counted down the days until the release of The Master, planned my writing schedule so today would be free and even put aside a book I would not have thought I’d be able to ignore for any reason.

Lysander, the Master, is the narrator in this book and at last we get explanations for actions which appeared inexplicable in The Slave, Tam’s story and The Soldier, Kai’s book. We discover that Lysander is not quite the in control Master he appears to be.

“Kai thought me a strong man, a master he could look up to. He had only ever seen me in my own house, in control. He had no idea how out of control I truly felt.”

We learn that Lysander’s actions stemmed from love; that his sacrifices as well as his seemingly harsh decisions were made out of selfless concern for others rather than misuse of power, even if Lysander himself can’t see it that way.

Before bed we bathed in the pool, and I scrubbed my skin raw but nothing removed the guilt which had eaten its way into my flesh, as thick and cloying as smoke.”

And

“I trembled with the effort of keeping everything inside, of keeping tears at bay. If I let them out, they’d consume me, and I needed to be strong. Needed to be the master everyone expected me to be.”

And yet the author didn’t portray this character as a saint anymore than she did the other two men. All three of them are recognisable in their humanity, their doubts, their jealousies and their occasionally petty actions. This doesn’t make them lesser characters, quite the opposite. It brings them to life and makes you love them all the more because they are beautiful and admirable despite and because of their faults and the manner in which they fight and overcome them.

Kate Aaron shows us things are rarely how they appear at first glance. Slaves aren’t ignorant or weak, Masters don’t always get it right and aren’t necessarily the strongest personality in the contorted relationship. The master, the slave and the soldier all have their strengths and weaknesses they complement each other even if they are slow to recognise the fact. All three need to be seen and loved for who they are rather than the role society has thrust upon them.

“Of everyone, only Tam and Kai cared about Lysander, the man, rather than what my position of power could offer them.”

I’m not going to say anything about the revelations in this book. Doing so would be a huge disservice to those who haven’t read the book(s) yet. Suffice to say it all worked beautifully and made for a powerful, at times heartbreaking, and ultimately beautiful story. Kate Aaron created characters and a world in such vivid clarity the pictures and voices are vivid in my head and safely lodged in my heart. I won’t forget the slave, the soldier or their master anytime soon and know without a doubt a smile will brighten my face whenever they pop into my thoughts.

I want to end with a quick note on the rating as shown above. Each story on its own was a solid five star read for me. The three books as a whole – the story in its entirety – warranted more than just the average of the three scores. Free Men is an exceptional trilogy and more than deserves the six star rating I’ve given it. Whatever you do, don’t miss out on what will, without a doubt, be (one of) the best reading experience(s) you’ll have this year.

Related posts:

The Slave: http://helenasheat.blogspot.ie/2014/10/the-slave-by-kate-aaron-release-day.html

The Soldier: http://helenasheat.blogspot.ie/2014/10/the-soldier-by-kate-aaron-release-day.html

Buy links:

Amazon US: http://smile.amazon.com/Master-Free-Men-Book-ebook/dp/B00Q1UJ7NO/ref=sr_1_8?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1416840328&sr=1-8&keywords=kate+aaron

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Master-Free-Men-Book-ebook/dp/B00Q1UJ7NO/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1416840402&sr=8-3&keywords=The+Master+Kate+Aaron

THE SOLDIER by Kate Aaron, Release Day Review

THE SOLDIER by Kate Aaron

 

Pages: 170

Date: 27/10/2014

Grade: 5+

Details: no. 2 Free Men

Own / Kindle

The blurb:

“Three months. That’s all it took for Kai to forsake freedom and learn to love his new life as pleasureslave to a wealthy Thirskan Underlord.

Finding himself surrounded by his own people once more, Kai should have been happy: relieved to be rescued from slavery, and out of the clutches of a man who was the sworn enemy of his people. Yet his people are not how he remembers them. Distrustful of Kai, and disgusted by his relationship with not one man but two, they make it abundantly clear he no longer fits in.

Beaten, starved, and tortured, when the chance comes to escape, Kai is barely strong enough to make the journey. Even if he succeeds, how could anybody ever love the thing he’s become in order to survive?”

My thoughts:

In my review of “The Slave” I tried to be objective and talk about the story and all the subjects it addresses without getting to gushy about it. I can’t do that again. Every review bone in my body is screaming at me to quote from and gush about this book, and so I will.

This is Kai’s story. We got to know him through Tam’s eyes in “The Slave”. In “The Soldier” we hear what happens after Tam, Master and Kai were attacked at the end of the first book, leaving both characters and readers on a knife’s edge.

This book takes us into the heart and mind of the soldier who lost the man he loved before being captured and sold as a slave. The sentiments with which he remembers those moments in the desert stole my breath.

“I wished it [the sand] would swallow me, wished I could disappear completely beneath the surface and sleep the eternal dreamless sleep.”

And that was just the first of many times Kai’s pain tore at me. Be prepared to have your heart broken as you watch him suffer. I almost wanted to curse Kate Aaron’s descriptive powers as I could almost smell his scorched skin, as his pain became so vivid I could almost feel it.

“I was my agony.”

Kai is a beautiful soul. His first concerns are always for the two men he’s grown to love during the three months of his enslavement. Being back among his own people doesn’t change that loyalty and neither does the torture he has to endure. His fears for their safety are bigger than concerns about his own life. Kai’s biggest fear is that the damage done by the torture he endures at the hands of his own people might turn both Master and Tam away from him in disgust.

“Yet, despite everything, I couldn’t find it within me to wish I’d never been his slave.”

With ‘The Slave’, Kate Aaron gave us a relatively pain and angst free story with a massive cliff-hanger at the end. The Soldier is anything but pain and angst free. Physical as well as emotional pain is visited upon all three men. Poor Kai is lost. While Tam and Master at least have the certainty of having been captured by enemies, Kai is left with what feels to him like nothing. The people who captured him are his own but don’t want him anymore. Tam and Master feel closer to his heart than any of those who hold them prisoner, but is he still with them now that the situation has changed?

“We could never go back to the way life was before, but as long as Master and Tam would have me, I was theirs.”

I did mention Master was an enigma in my review of ‘The Slave’, didn’t I? Well, an enigma he remains. More suggestions are made and a few veils are lifted, but the story seems to present more new questions than it answers old ones. Who the Master is and what his motives are remains something of a mystery. One which I guess won’t be solved until the final book.

Like I said, your heart will break, time and again and not just because of the ordeals Kai has to face and the feelings he is struggling with. Tam is suffering at least as much.

“I can’t do this again, Kai. I can’t. When they attacked, when I thought Master was dead and I was going to have to watch them murder you too, I couldn’t bear it. I wanted it to be over. When you hit me, before I passed out, do you know what my last thought was? (...) I thought you’d killed me, and my last thought was ‘thank you.’ – Tam

Kate Aaron’s language is beautiful whether she uses it to describe her men, the ordeals they face or Kai’s inner thoughts:

“Overhead, the rings glowed cold and white, indifferent to the toils of one small man lost and alone in the middle of the vast and unending desert.”

Oh Kai, how you broke my heart.

“I cried for what I could not have because if I allowed myself to cry for all the things I had lost, I feared I would never stop.”

And this, o my God, all the feels:

“Don’t tell me what you think I want to hear, because I want to believe you so badly, and if you’re wrong, it will only hurt me more.”

Just in case you’re starting to worry this book is all violence, pain and heartbreak, let me reassure you. There are moments of astounding tenderness, life confirming selflessness and pure beauty a plenty.

“We were more than possessions, more than dumb animals of inanimate things. We were men; we got to choose who owned us. In that moment we both chose him.”

I fell in love with Tam when I read his book. Now that I’ve read Kai’s story I feel like a bit of a traitor. I still adore Tam but my heart firmly belongs to Kai. The precarious balance between his strength when it comes to physical challenges and his fragility when dealing with matters of the heart touched me on a very deep level.

Four weeks from today the final part in this trilogy will be released. I will be marking of the days between now and November 24^th. The world Kate Aaron has created has sucked me in. Her characters have lodged themselves in my heart. And her words, her beautiful words, have made me a fan for life. 

THE SLAVE by Kate Aaron: Release Day Review

THE SLAVE by Kate Aaron

 

Pages: 180

Date: 18/10/2014

Grade: 5

Details: no. 1 Free Men

            ARC received from author

Kindle

The Blurb:

“At twenty-seven, Tamelik has been a slave more than half his life, having witnessed his family being murdered in front of him when he was just a child. Naturally submissive, although with a petulant streak, he can’t help but fall in love with the master who treats him kindly.

Tam's dreams come true when his mistress walks out, leaving her husband behind. For six glorious months, he and his master get to be together. Then Tam is ordered to purchase another slave.

He wants to hate Kai for being unruly and ungrateful. For being of the same race as the men who murdered his family. For being his eventual replacement in their master’s bed. But it’s hard to hate a man who cries himself to sleep, flinches at the slightest touch, and blushes beautifully when he’s kissed.

Seducing Kai has suddenly become more challenge than chore, and with his master’s encouragement, Tam finds himself falling for his new companion. Except... nobody can be in love with two people at once, can they?”

My thoughts:

This is my second attempt at writing this review. The first one was very long and gave too much away. This is the sort of book that leaves me wanting to share and rave. I would love to go into minute detail about everything I thought and felt while reading, but that would be a huge disservice to anyone who hasn’t read the book yet. Not only because it might spoil the story. A huge part of the enjoyment reading this book brought me, stemmed from the feelings it ignited in me and the way they developed as the story progressed. Every reader should have the opportunity to experience that for themselves. So, in this second version, I’ll try to restrain myself.

‘The Slave’ is an intriguing story with fascinating characters. That isn’t the main reason it blew me away though. The way the story was told and the manner in which Kate Aaron tackled potentially controversial topics impressed me more than I can adequately put into words.

A story about two slaves and their master could so easily turn into something uncomfortable and dark. The fact that Tam has been with his master since he was twelve could have made this a disturbing read. Yet the impression I was left with when I finished the book, was one of light, love and beauty. That, and an immense appreciation for Kate Aaron’s storytelling powers.

Tam and Kai go through big transformations in this story. Tam has to come to terms with a rival for his beloved master’s affections as well as his growing feelings for the man he sees as his potential replacement. At the same time, Kai has to not only resign himself to the fact he’s no longer a free man but also come to terms with his developing feelings for the man who has bought him, as well as the man who holds him captive. Those changes are so fluent and gradual as to be almost imperceptible. As a result you never question events as they unfold or feelings as they come to the service.

The dynamics in this story are fascinating. Tam and Kai are slaves, be it to a benevolent master. The book beautifully expresses the humiliation resulting from being (made) a slave, the love that can blossom because/despite/in the midst of this unequal situation and the conflicting emotions resulting from that discrepancy.

This story is told from Tam’s perspective and it’s impossible not to fall in love with him as we read. All his feelings, worries, fears and delights were palatable and I for one couldn’t help but become invested in his happiness.

Through Tam’s eyes we get a pretty good idea who Kai is. We may not be able to share the former soldier’s thoughts but Tam spends enough time with him to read him well and share his impressions. Watching Kai slowly change from hostile through friendly to invested in the complicated relationship dynamics was a pure delight.

Master remains much more of an enigma in this book. Tam is almost too close and too dependent on the man who owns him, to give us an objective view of what might be motivating him. The reader gets a few clues, but since they’re delivered from Tam’s perspective it remains to be seen if they can be trusted.

Only after finishing the book did I realise Kate Aaron had made me think about a potentially controversial subject. Slavery is of course a despicable state of affairs. But, as Tam and Kai discuss, was Kai really free when he was a soldier? Or did he move from one form of slavery to another? There is also the issue of Tam’s love for his master. Is this a form of Stockholm Syndrome, as Kai is inclined to believe, or do Tam’s feelings stem from a deeper, more powerful connection?

And before I forget, I should mention this book is both incredibly hot and heartbreakingly tender. The dynamics between the three men took my breath away. The brushing of each other’s hair, the shaving and all the other loving touches they bestow on each other were delightful.

I should probably warn you. This book ends on one hell of a cliff-hanger. Since Kate Aaron was kind enough to release books one and book two, ‘The Soldier’, on the same day, this shouldn’t be a huge issue for you. Of course, the downside of being given an ARC of ‘The Slave’ is that I now have to wait nine days to find out what happens next. I have no doubt Tam and Kai will be living in my thoughts all that time.

Buy link for The Slave: http://smile.amazon.com/Slave-Free-Men-Book-ebook/dp/B00OKCPDVA/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1414397710&sr=8-5&keywords=Kate+Aaron