WICKED GAMES

TITLE: WICKED GAMES

           My Year of Submission

AUTHOR: KELLY LAWRENCE

Pages: 244

Date: 08/07/2013

Grade: 4.5

Details: Non-Fiction

            Received from Black Lace

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“I can, without hesitation, thoroughly recommend nipple clamps.”

When Kelly, a twenty-six year old adult literacy teacher, meets Alex the attraction between them is instant. But even on their very first date it becomes clear that Alex isn’t like the men Kelly has dated before. He tells her to wear something red – a request (or is it an order?) she ignores - orders her drink for her without asking what she wants and shows her what happens to girls who don’t do as they’re told as soon as they get back to her house. A spanking isn’t what Kelly was expecting at the end of her first date and she knows she should put a stop to it, but:

“…and as much as part of me wanted to jump out of his grasp and demand he leave, my body was a purring kitten under his touch, she wasn’t going anywhere. My inner slut was well and truly taking over.”

It is on subsequent date that Alex explains to Kelly that his passions are far from what is considered regular. He is into BDSM, wants to dominate the woman he is with and needs her to submit to him. Kelly is confused about what he has told her and doesn’t really know what any of it means but:

“I couldn’t lie to myself: I was intrigued. I wanted to know exactly what he had in mind, to experience the secrets his words hinted at.”

A visit to a local fetish club and talk with the professional Dominatrix she meets there, clarify some aspects of this lifestyle for her but no amount of watching or talking can prepare her for the things she will experience once she decides that she does want to explore this world. Her attraction to Alex is too strong and her curiosity has been aroused by the way she reacted to that first spanking. And after her first full play session with Alex she has to admit that:

“Even if I never saw Alex again, I knew I wouldn’t be the same person, at least sexually, as I had been before I stepped into that bedroom.”

It isn’t long before both Kelly and Alex have to admit that what they are experiencing is more than just sexual attraction and compatibility. Kelly falls completely under Alex’ spell:

“The way he could switch from being the perfect gentleman to looking at me like he could strip my clothes from my flesh with just the force of his gaze made my mouth go dry.”

But their relationship and growing feelings don’t leave the far more experienced Alex unaffected either:

“…I feel like I’m losing myself in you. I was planning on keeping the orgasm denial going until tomorrow but as soon as I was inside you, I lost all thought. It was remiss of me.”

But just as it seems that Alex and Kelly have found their way to happiness, a blast from Alex’ past emerges to throw a spanner in the works; a spanner of such magnitude that it may just put an end to Kelly’s happiness and newly discovered pleasures.

As you may have noticed, I’ve been reading a lot of erotic books lately. And quite a few of those books had stories about a character being somewhat sexually frustrated for reasons they couldn’t identify, meeting someone who turns out to be into BDSM, recognises their need/want and sets out to seduce them and introduce them to the pleasures of submission.

The story in this book runs along those lines as well. Except that it isn’t a story that sprung from someone’s imagination. No, according to the cover this is “a real-life erotic romance”. While reading this book I couldn’t get over how much fact – or real life if you will – imitates fiction. And then I had to give myself a good face-slap. Fact imitating fiction? I don't think so. It is far more likely that the people who wrote the erotic novels I have been reading and enjoying actually knew what they were writing about and got it so right that by the time I read a factual account of submission I had a hard time remembering that it wasn’t fiction.

This book reads as easy as a good work of fiction does. The story is as gripping and as hot as any work of erotica should be while the characters - well they aren’t really characters of course since this isn’t a work of fiction - are fascinating. In fact it is because this book isn’t fiction that the story is so intriguing. While Kerry does resemble a lot of the newly submissive characters you find in novels, Alex is a bit more realistic than most Doms you find in erotic fiction. He’s no billionaire for starters and does make mistakes, can’t always keep his Dom persona up and is as vulnerable as Kerry when the relationship is under threat. And, more importantly, he’s not afraid to share those mistakes and doubts with Kerry.

This book fascinated me as did Kerry. I loved everything she discovered about herself and how she continued to explore her boundaries even while questioning herself.

“And so there was another line crossed, and yet more territory he had conquered.”

I smiled when Anna, the Dominatrix gives Kerry some literature to learn more about BDSM: “The Story of O” and “Exit to Eden”; two works of fiction I’m well familiar with and which do, indeed, provide a lot of insight into the lifestyle.

I think this is a wonderful book for anyone who has been reading erotic novels and, like me, has found themselves wondering how realistic they actually are. This book does prove that the line between fact and fiction, like the one between pain and pleasure, is indeed a very fine one.

DECADENCE

TITLE: DECADENCE

AUTHOR: KAREN STIVALI

Pages: 62

Date: 06/07/2013

Grade: 5

Details: A book in the Spice Rack Series

Own / Kindle

The Blurb:

“In eight years of marriage, Eric Carlson has never forgotten to kiss his wife Jessica goodbye—until this morning. As Jessica runs her errands, all she can think about is the missing kiss.
When Eric calls to tell her he thinks he left the toaster oven on, she rushes home, annoyed and afraid their house may be burning down. Instead of smoke and flames she finds Eric, looking hot and sexy as hell as he prepares fresh waffles.

Eric knows he and Jessica have been drifting apart. He’s bought the hot new product everyone’s talking about—the Spice Rack, guaranteed to spice up your love life. The jar he opens advises them to “Spend a decadent day indulging all your senses.” With the whole day ahead of them, a fridge full of tempting treats and the house to themselves for a change, that’s exactly what Eric intends to do—in the kitchen, on the washing machine, wherever the mood strikes. And Jessica’s got a super-steamy surprise for him too.”

I really loved this novella. It is so nice to read a story about characters you can identify with. A married couple, caught up in their busy lives, juggling kids, home and work; we all know that it is only too easy to start taking your relationship for granted. Too busy during the day, too tired at night, all those important moments of intimacy tend to fall by the wayside and next thing you know you can’t quite remember when the last time was you spent some time together, just the two of you, getting hot and sweaty without worrying about everyday problems or listening to sounds from elsewhere in the house.

This is exactly the situation Eric and Jessica find themselves in. And when Eric also forgets to kiss his wife in the morning it feels to Jessica that maybe they are in real trouble. Finding Eric at home looking oh so sexy and discovering that he has taken the day off to spend a spontaneous Mother’s Day with her in the middle of October more than puts Jessica’s mind at ease. And when she discovers that Eric has invested in the “Spice Rack” containing suggestions to spice up their life, it almost feels as if all her Christmases have come at once.

Eric couldn’t be more delighted with his wife’s reaction to his surprise. The “Spice Rack” more than delivers on its promise while the couple rediscovers old pleasures and indulges in a few new ones. When Jessica mentions that she has to go to her final, mysterious, dance class in the afternoon Eric finds himself wondering. Why is she dancing, is she really taking a class or is it just an excuse for something else?  It isn’t until they are both home again and Jessica shows him exactly what she has been learning during her secret classes that Eric realizes that his marriage is better than it ever was.
 
Like I said, I loved this story. It is extremely sexy in an everyday sort of way. No billionaires, no antics that you can barely visualize never mind imagine trying yourself and no protracted drama. This story is as wonderful as it is because everything that is described in these pages is something every couple could indulge in. Having that wonderful “Spice Rack” would definitely help when it comes to re-introducing spice into your love life – in fact, I’d pay good money for one of those – but even without that aid, following Eric and Jessica’s example is something every couple can aspire to.

Karen Stivali has written a hot as hell and wonderfully sweet story about real people with thoughts, fears and feelings that are all too familiar. The writing is smooth, the reading is easy and hot and the balance between sexiness and back-story is just about perfect. The only downside I can think of as far as this book is concerned is that I, once again, managed to find myself an author to add to my “must read” list.

THE ANGEL - A RE-READ

US edition

TITLE: THE ANGEL

AUTHOR: TIFFANY REISZ

Pages: 410

Date: 03/07/2013

Grade: 5+

Details: no. 2 Original Sinners: The Red Years

              Re-read

Own: Kindle/Paperback

The Blurb:

"No safe word can protect the heart
Infamous erotica author and accomplished dominatrix Nora Sutherlin is doing something utterly out of character: hiding. While her longtime lover, Søren—whose fetishes, if exposed, would be his ruin—is under scrutiny pending a major promotion, Nora's lying low and away from temptation in the lap of luxury.

Her host, the wealthy and uninhibited Griffin Fiske, is thrilled to have Nora stay at his country estate, especially once he meets her traveling companion. Young, inexperienced and angelically beautiful, Michael has become Nora's protégé, and this summer with Griffin is going to be his training, where the hazing never ends.

But while her flesh is willing, Nora's mind is wandering. To thoughts of Søren, her master, under investigation by a journalist with an ax to grind. And to another man from Nora's past, whose hold on her is less bruising, but whose secrets are no less painful. It's a summer that will prove the old adage: love hurts."

This re-review was supposed to be more or less the same as the one I did for my re-read of “The Siren”; lots of quotes and some thoughts of mine. It’s not quite working out that way though. I’ve got nowhere near as many quotes written down this time. Not because there are less quotable sentences - if anything there may have been more - but because I couldn’t make myself put the book down for long enough to copy them (and I refuse to write in books). It might have been different if I had read my e-version of this book, where I could have happily highlighted away, but I picked up the paperback and well, here I am, with only a few quotes.

Before I say anything else let me say that Tiffany Reisz’ words and story once again captivated me and blew me away. The minute I open one of her books her world captures me to such a degree that it stays with me even after I put the book down.

And there is so much going on in this book. It starts with somebody stealing Nora’s file from Kingsley’s office and although that is not really referred to again, it is a fact that lingers in the background, foreshadowing danger to come. There is Søren being shortlisted for promotion to Bishop, something that would destroy the life he has built for himself and those around him. Suzanne, the journalist investigating Søren, convinced he has to be a child-molester, is a fascinating character on all levels. In any other book she’d be a hero and the reader would be rooting for her to get to the truth. In this book she’s almost the villain and the reader finds themselves worrying that she might just get to the truth. And, she breaks stereotypes in a different way as well:

Why did he always have to make sex about something more than sex?” - Suzanne about Patrick

Nora struggling with her duelling feelings is both fascinating and heartbreaking. Torn between Søren, the man she has loved since she was a teenager, the man who gives her everything she needs and Wesley, the much younger man who is everything she isn’t, wants everything she’s sure she couldn’t live with, the man she can’t stop yearning for, Nora personifies the following quotes:

“Life and death are less life-and-death than love is” Nora to Mick, and:

“Love is an open wound that you hope never heals.”

When Søren sent Nora away with the following order

“Make your peace with Wesley this summer while you’re away from me. Make your peace and do not return to me until you do.”

he had no way of knowing that it might turn out to be an order too far…for both of them. Sometimes the impossible is the only thing to do:

“Even if against my will is what I want?” Nora to Søren

And then there is Griffin and Michael. My God, could I be more in love with those two? I adore and just can’t get enough of them. Griffin is the ultimate playboy who refuses to take life or anything else seriously:

“For Griffin, S&M was a game that he played to get laid as often as humanly possible.”

Until he meets the one person who can make him change his ways, only to discover Mick is off limits, unless he finds the courage to do the one thing that really scares him. It’s beautiful. 

And Mick, the Angel, breaks my heart, makes me want to adopt him, take care of him, keep him safe. The pain he’s encountered in his short life… And then he meets Griffin and starts feeling things he’d never even imagined although he is convinced that he is everything Griffin would never want. All of that leads up to the sentences that never fail to make me smile with tears in my eyes:

“I want to own you, Griffin whispered into Michael’s ear. Michael smiled, and for the first time in his life he knew exactly what to say and how to say it. You already do.”

Goodness knows that being a teenager is hard enough at the best of times. Being a teenager who doesn’t fit the common mould is near impossible. I can’t read Mick’s story without thinking about a particular song. A song that was written by a 15 year old girl and expresses the darkness she felt at the time with powerful words accompanied by simple and fitting guitar chords. The song is called “Russian Roulette” and the now 19 years old singer-songwriter’s name is Tara Kennedy. I don’t include this song because the lyrics tell a story similar to this book, although there are a few lines that could have come straight from Tiffany’ Reisz’ characters:

UK edition

 

“What’s life without the pain?”

And:

“I want to disinfect my soul”

No, the reason I have linked this song to this review is because it captures that teenage angst with exquisite accuracy.

I do hope you enjoy the song and agree that it goes well with this book. Either way, let me know what you think.

Further reading: Tiffany Reisz’ website

                          Original review

Further Listening: Tara Kennedy’s channel on YouTube

ENTWINED WITH YOU

TITLE: ENTWINED WITH YOU

AUTHOR: SYLVIA DAY

Pages: 356

Date: 29/06/2013

Grade: 4-

Details: no. 3 Crossfire

              Received from Penguin

              Through Nudge

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“Day one of my life was the day I met you.” – Gideon

And so the story of Gideon and Eva continues. There is a lot I would like to say about this story, but I’m conscious of how easy it would be to not only spoil this story, but also things revealed in “Reflected in You” so I’m going to have to be a bit vague.

Officially Eva and Gideon are separated. With a police investigation in progress it would be dangerous for them to advertise their connection for the world to see. Yet being apart proves to be as impossible as being together is inadvisable.

“Letting you go would kill me, but I wouldn’t hurt you to keep you.” - Gideon to Eva

Spending time together means keeping secrets from those closest to Eva though, something which makes her uncomfortable. To add to the pressure there are the women who seem to pursue Gideon. We have Corinne, Gideon’s former fiancée who is determined to get him back even though he makes it clear that he is no longer interested in her and she is married to somebody else. And there is Deanna Johnson, a journalist with a grudge against Gideon who is on a quest to bring him down and doesn’t care what she has to do to achieve her goal. And while Eva is getting a better grip on all her insecurities and does, deep in her heart, know and trust that Gideon only wants her, she still can’t stop herself from worrying about their relationship.

Gideon, however, isn’t the only one whose past won’t leave him alone. A blast from Eva’s past in the form of Brett, the up and coming rock star, is determined to get her back. And while she doesn’t have any deep feelings for him, she can’t quite refuse to stay in contact with him nor stop her body from reacting to his voice or presence.

And then there are the people surrounding these two. Eva’s best friend Cary is still juggling two partners and getting into an ever deeper mess because of it. Eva’s father is upset and angry when he finally learns the truth about Eva’s past and the secrets that have been kept from him while her mother seems to be upsetting Eva with almost everything she does.

Through it all and despite all the obstacles Eva and Gideon prove to be an unstoppable force. And while it is clear that their troubles are not quite over and they find themselves with more secrets to keep, they do find their way back to each other, not just in private but also in public.

No, I do not consider that last paragraph a spoiler. After all, it has been clear from the first book that these two characters will end up together and get their happily ever after, no matter how long it may take.

And so we come across my biggish issue with this book. This was supposed to be the third and final instalment in a trilogy. Except that now it isn’t. Turns out that there will be two more Crossfire books before this story ends, and I have my doubts about that particular decision. For all intents and purposes the story of Eva and Gideon has been told by the time this book ends, because by then they have committed themselves to each other as completely as they possibly can.

“You own me, Eva. Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, I belong to you.” – Gideon

And:

“I can’t live without you Eva. I can’t imagine even trying. Just the thought makes me insane.” – Gideon

Yes, it is clear that they will still face issues in the future, but then, what relationship doesn’t? Which begs the question, what will Sylvia Day be writing about in the two books that are, apparently, still to come? Is she going to create more drama for her two heroes, or will we be reading about the issues that trouble the secondary characters? I’m not sure I’m interested in either if I’m honest. Secondary characters should be just that: secondary, while piling more misery on Gideon and Eva feels like over-kill.

Don’t get me wrong; I really hope Sylvia Day pulls it off. I like the way she writes, I enjoy her stories, her characters and the heat between them. And that is part of the dilemma for me. I’m not convinced that it will be possible to drag this story out without me falling out of love with it while I also can’t deny that I will probably enjoy indulging in more of Eva and Gideon’s passion.

And passionate this book is. These two characters are completely over the top when it comes to the attraction between them and the way in which they react to and act on it:

“When I come, I come for you. Because of you and your mouth, your hands, and insatiable little cunt. And it’ll be that way for you in reverse. My tongue, my fingers, my cum inside you. Just you and me, Eva. Intimate and raw. – Gideon

So, where does that leave me and my opinion about this book?

First and foremost, this is, once again, a well written, gripping, very sexy and easy to read book. The story is as captivating as it has been from the start and the writing is so smooth that the pages almost turn themselves. While Eva and Gideon can be infuriating as a couple, they are equally intriguing and reading about the two of them is, for the most, a joy. So I will be reading the fourth book when it comes out and reserve my judgement until then. I really hope that Sylvia Day proves me wrong. I want the decision to extend this series beyond a trilogy to be story-driven rather than a cynical exercise in money-making. I have no idea what the future books will bring, but for now I’m willing to give this author the benefit of the doubt.

THE SIREN - A RE-READ

TITLE: THE SIREN

AUTHOR: TIFFANY REISZ

Pages: 400

Date: 25/06/2013

Grade: 5

Details: No. 1 Original Sinners, The Red Years

             Re-read

Own / Kindle / Paperback

The blurb from the author’s website:

“Notorious Nora Sutherlin is famous for her delicious works of erotica, each one more popular with readers than the last. But her latest manuscript is different—more serious, more personal—and she's sure it'll be her breakout book…if it ever sees the light of day.
Zachary Easton holds Nora's fate in his well-manicured hands. The demanding British editor agrees to handle the book on one condition: he wants complete control. Nora must rewrite the entire novel to his exacting standards—in six weeks—or it's no deal.
Nora's grueling writing sessions with Zach are draining…and shockingly arousing. And a dangerous former lover has her wondering which is more torturous—staying away from him…or returning to his bed?

Nora thought she knew everything about being pushed to your limits. But in a world where passion is pain, nothing is ever that simple.”

I have to admit that, as a rule, I don’t do re-reads. Why read a story you already know when there are so many new books to discover? Well, I guess this book and its two sequels provide the answer to that question; you re-read a book because it is impossible not to do so, because it is the only way you can make sure that you will do the final book in the series justice and because regardless of how many new books may be waiting for your attention, the urge to go back to the start is just too strong.

Since this is a re-read I’m not going to do a proper review again. If you’re interested in my thoughts on this book you can have a look at the original review. And, if you do, you’ll notice that my grade for the book today is slightly higher than it was the first time around. That is because back then I read the book too fast. I got so caught up in the story, so desperate to find out how it would end that I missed a lot of the detail and beauty I did catch this time. And yet, although this was a re-read I still had to force myself to take it slow. The urge to rush on, an urge created by the tension in the story and my connection to the characters, was (almost) as strong as it was the first time, even if I knew how the story was going to end.

So, no proper review this time; instead I’m going to share some of my favourite quotes from this book; sentences that touched me, described feelings I recognised or just blew me away with their beauty.  I may include some stray thoughts here and there when I feel like it, but apart from the blurb above I probably won’t say a whole lot about the story, except that it is brilliant and even more so on re-reading.

There were times that I wanted to kick myself while reading this book again. How did I not realise that “The Angel” was about Mick. The clue is in The Siren. I know it is only one sentence but when Nora says to Michael “You are, angel” that’s your hint, right there! Of course, my big fear is that I have yet again managed to miss clues and hints; my big fear and yet something I’m almost sure about.

Nora

Chapter Two, Nora makes her entrance and a grin appears on my face. A grin that grows wider whenever she opens her mouth and refuses to completely disappear, even after I put the book down. Except of course, for those moments when she managed to break my heart and I found myself with tears in my eyes. But that is Nora for you:

“You told me to stop writing what I knew and start writing what I wanted to know. I want to know…you.” (Nora to Zach)

“Sophocles’s House of Patricide and Incest, Nora answered. How may I blind you?”

“I sin boldly” – Nora.

“I blew you. You liked it. Get over it.”

“He’s the only man who never hurt me.” Nora about Søren.

Soren

“The most familiar darkness…her darkness…she was home.”

 Or, as Søren would put it:

“How easily you forgive, Eleanor. How freely you absolve the sins of others. Tell me, little one, when the time comes, how will you absolve yours?”

And:

“Eleanor, there are suicide bombers on the Gaza Strip who are less dangerous than you are.”

Because this book takes you on an emotional roller-coaster ride the likes of which you rarely experience in fiction. Laugh out loud to cry out loud may only take a paragraph, smiles turn into frowns and back again and through it all complete and utter awe. Awe at the mastery of Tiffany Reisz’ words, the vividness of her characters, the realness of her world. A world I’ve all but lost myself in. But who can blame me when you’re confronted by writing like this:

“He kissed her like her mouth was his mouth, her lips were his lips, her tongue was his tongue. They were one flesh.”

“When Søren touched her she became his. When Wesley touched her, she became herself.”

“We can only sacrifice so much of ourselves in a relationship before there’s nothing left to love or be loved.” (This quote made me think and be eternally grateful for reasons I won’t go into here.)

“Broken love is the most dangerous love. It will slice you open with every touch.”

And for what is probably the best sentence in this book:

“There are only two reasons why you leave someone you’re still in love with – either it’s the right thing to do, or it’s the only thing to do.”

Since I first read “The Siren”, I’ve read “The Angel” and “The Prince” as well as all available short stories about the Original Sinners. I can’t begin to explain how much my reading experience was enhanced by the fact that I knew all the characters better than I had that first time. In fact, it’s a bit like having sex; it only improves as you get to know each other better.

I have seen this book described as “literary smut”, and I couldn’t agree more except that the word “smut” doesn’t seem to encompass enough to describe this book. But, if the Dutch can have “literary thriller” as an established genre I don’t know why we can’t have “literary smut” as well. And while we’re at it, I suggest we make Tiffany Reisz its Mistress.

And on that note I think my non-review is long enough. I could have gone on endlessly with my quotes. I’ve got at least another fifteen that I would love to share. But that defeats the purpose of this piece. If you haven’t gotten the message yet that this is a brilliant book, you never will. And that would be your loss. Books/series this good are few and far between; don’t deprive yourself. Buy them, read them and love them!

“You’re beautiful enough and wild enough that you make me think things I never thought I would think again and feel things I didn’t think I’d feel again. And you make me afraid I’ll start forgetting things I don’t ever want to forget.” Zach to Nora

STORY OF O

TITLE: STORY OF O

AUTHOR: PAULINE RÉAGE

Pages: 199

Date: 18/06/2013

Grade: 5

Own

Flashback to me as a teenager. I’m not sure why but one day I suddenly find myself interested in the books that have been on the shelf over my parent’s bed for as long as I can remember and take a closer look at one of them because the title is somewhat intriguing; Story of O. It has been too many years since I was that young for me to have any clear memories of the story or exactly what I thought and felt while reading it. In fact, it is safe to say that there was a long time during which that title completely slipped my mind. But there were a few pictures that stayed with me as the decades went by; a few scenes that turned into personal fantasies even though my fascination with these books was rather short lived.

Flash forward to the phenomena that was/is Fifty Shades of Grey. Once again curiosity gets the better of me. I read the trilogy and find that I’m thoroughly enjoying my re-introduction in to the world of erotica. And, since I realise that there have to be better written books out there,  find myself looking for, finding and devouring books by a host of authors in several sub-genres. Some of these books were so bad they made me want to cry, some appeared to be almost carbon copies of the E.L. James books (if I see another billionaire I’ll have a fit) and yet other books enthralled me.

Reading erotica also got me reading about the genre and it wasn’t long before one thing became very clear; modern erotic fiction and especially the BDSM themed variety seems to owe a debt of gratitude or inspiration to two authors in particular: Anne Rice and Pauline Réage. So I read the Sleeping Beauty books by Anne Rice (writing as A.N. Roquelaure) and her Exit to Eden (writing as Anne Rampling) and discovered that an erotic theme doesn’t exclude wonderful writing.

And so I found myself left with Pauline Réage’s “Story of O”. I found it, I bought it and now I’ve read it (again). Here are my thoughts:

Actually, before I get into the story of O I have to say that I’m quite surprised (shocked even?) that my younger self accepted this book without question. In a way it makes me re-evaluate my memories of that teenager.

This book is extreme. I don’t mean extreme as in “could never happen in real life” since I have little to no idea as to what does and doesn’t happen in real life. No, what I mean is that this book is extreme compared to everything else I have read. And, unlike the Sleeping Beauty books by Anne Rice, this story doesn’t have the “excuse” that it is actually a fairytale to make its extremes easier to deal with. In fact, this book is written in such a way that it would be quite easy to believe that it is a fictionalised version of real life experiences, a collection of letters or even an adaptation of somebody’s private diary.

This is the story of O, a young Parisian photographer who is brought to the château of Roissy by her lover René for whom she would do anything; to prove her love for him, to increase and sustain his love for her. In the Château O is stripped of her normal clothes and exposed to men and their desires, whatever they may be, from the very first moment. Talk is forbidden. The only sounds allowed are those produced as a result of the ministrations from the men in the chateau; moans, groans, screams… Not a single word though; not to the men who command her and neither to or from the women who share her faith.  On the morning after she’s been brought to Roissy O thinks:

“She did not wish to die, but if torture was the price she had to pay to keep her lover’s love, then she only hoped that he was pleased that she had endured it.”

It isn’t long though before O discovers that rather than endure and hate her experience at the Chateau for the sake of love, she finds something else, something more as a result of being used, chained, whipped and opened up:

“The chains and the silence, which should have bound her deep within herself, which should have smothered her, strangled her, on the contrary freed her from herself.”

Once her training is finished and she is back home she finds that she has changed beyond recognition.

“She was no longer wearing either a collar or leather bracelets, and she was alone, her own sole spectator. And yet never had she felt herself more totally committed to a will which was not her own, more totally a slave, and more content to be so.”

When her lover informs O that he intends to share her with Sir Stephen and commit one part of her anatomy exclusively to this older man, provided she consents to the idea, the young woman discovers that it was much easier to submit when she felt as if she didn’t have a choice in the matter than it is to verbally agree to it.

“… she loathed her freedom. Her freedom was worse than any chains.”

But submitting to Sir Stephen propels O along on her path to total submission. Branded and chained as his property O eventually comes to the realisation that the satisfaction she achieves has nothing to do with wanting to please René or even Sir Stephen. It has become and maybe always has been a need she has in and of itself.

“O had never really understood, but she had finally come to accept as an undeniable and important verity, this constant and contradictory jumble of her emotions: she liked the idea of torture, but when she was being tortured herself she would have betrayed the whole word to escape it, and yet when it was over she was happy to have gone through it, happier still if it had be especially cruel and prolonged.”

The book ends on a scene in which O is little more than a faceless object to be viewed, touched and made use of.

This book is nothing like the more modern BDSM stories I have read. Whereas most recently published stories will ease new submissives into their role, warming them up, preparing them for whatever they are about to experience there is no such restraint in this story. From the very first moment O is introduced to her new environment she is exposed to the full force of whatever her Masters wish to inflict upon her.  Safe-words are not available to O; they are never mentioned nor used.  There is no mention of the words “safe, sane and consensual”. And while it has to be said that Sir Stephen and Rene do expect O to consent to any new form of submission they invent for her, it is a form of consent that is almost involuntary.

“…she could refuse, nothing was keeping her enslaved except her love and her self-enslavement.”

This isn’t a romance with a kinky edge. I can’t make up my mind about the ending of this book and am unable to describe it as either happy or sad. In fact, it seems that this book was published without either of its two original endings. And maybe that is how it should be. O has achieved that which she learned to aspire to; she belongs to Sir Stephen, to do with as he pleases. She has given herself to him so completely that she watches herself and those around her from a distance. She has been completely objectified and views herself as such without judgment.

This is a shocking story; a book that stretches the reader well beyond their comfort zone. In fact my feelings seemed to mirror O’s a lot of the time. Just when I thought things had surely gone far enough, that I couldn’t bear to see any further humiliation inflicted upon this character, I found that indeed I could, and what is more, wanted to. The writing is distant, analytical as if the narrator is completely removed from what is happening on the page. And yet, that same narrator seems to know an awful lot about what O is going through and her feelings about, and reactions to everything she’s subjected to. And I can’t help feeling that the emotions described on these pages, all the conflicting thoughts and feelings O is confronted with describe the dual emotional reactions that must be part of the path to true submission better than anything I’ve read before.

WHEN FICTION REFUSES TO STAY FICTIONAL...

I’ve been doing it all my life. Well, I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember and certainly for as long as I’ve been reading books.

You’ve heard it said: “get lost in a good book” and that is something I’ve always been very good at. But, I tend to take it one step further. Not only do I get lost in a good book, I also allow the story and its characters to take over my thoughts and dreams. A much younger version of me was out in the world fighting evil witches with a boy named Jeroen and his Silver Key.  Never mind that some of the books didn’t have female protagonists. I joined Winnetou and Old Shatterhand on their adventures in the Wild West. And, more recently, I found myself travelling back in time to join Claire and Jamie in Scotland during the rising against the English. In my imagination I was in the story, part of it and in my mind the story would continue, long after the book had finished.

 I’ve got a feeling though that this is quite normal. I can’t imagine that I’m the only reader to get that caught up in the story and the characters provided by a good book. It is only recently that my imagination and my real life appear to be merging. And I blame the internet in general and Twitter specifically.

When I first read The Siren, the first of the Original Sinners books by Tiffany Reisz I was blown away by the story and the way in which it was written. But my fascination went a lot further. I could see and hear the characters inside my head. Things they had said or done in the story would jump into my mind, almost uninvited, several times during the day. I was thinking about them before I went to sleep and found them still present in my mind when I woke up the next morning – and boy do I wish I remembered my dreams with more clarity because I’m sure they featured there as well -. Still, this wasn’t too different from the relationship I have had with my favourite characters for as long as I can remember.  

Things got out of hand when I discovered the Original Sinners Role Play on Twitter. Suddenly these characters that I had come to love were no longer confined to the pages of a book or even my imagination. Here they were (and still are) tweeting on my time-line, interacting with each other and sometimes even with me in real life and real time. And suddenly I find that occasionally I have to remind myself that I’m following and interacting with fictional characters as portrayed by people who are fans of the books, just like me.

Daniel

 

I’m checking the shelves in the library where I work and I can’t help thinking that Daniel would approve. I see a priest – and since I live in Ireland that happens often enough – and my mind starts wondering what he would make of Søren or if he even… Obsessed? Me? What makes you say that?

I find myself on Twitter, caught up in one of the wonderful, hot and at times heartbreaking scenes and realising that for several minutes I’ve completely forgotten that what I’m following is make-belief. These characters have taken on a real existence in my mind, real lives in my world and real power to affect my moods.

The only person to “blame” for my imagination going into overdrive is of course Tiffany Reisz. She has brought me, and thousands of other fans, characters with real personalities. She’s provided her readers with enough details about all of her principle characters to make them as real as any fictional character can ever hope to be.

And it gets worse. I mean it is one thing imagining characters are living and breathing beings you might actually meet some day. But recently fact and fiction are starting to merge for me; in my mind Tiffany the author and Nora her incredible creation are turning into one and the same person.

And so I find myself worried when Daniel and his Anya appear to have problems, delighted when Griffin and Mick resolve their difficulties and holding my breath when Kingsley has to teach Daniel a valuable lesson about being a Dom. 

Nora

If a role-play story line plays out over several days I find myself rushing back to my computer whenever I come home, desperate to find out how things are developing. And in the back of my mind is this impossible to suppress thought that maybe, just maybe I will be lucky enough to meet these characters one day. Then real life will demand my attention and I once again realise that I’m obsessing about fictional characters playing out fictional scenarios. That won’t stop me from falling in the same trap again when the next gripping role-play scene comes along though. And I won’t even get started about the fact that it is getting harder and harder for me to remember that Tiffany Reisz and Nora Sutherlin are not the same person.

So, here I am; a grown woman with difficulties distinguishing between fact and fiction. No, it is not a problem. I see it as a rather pleasurable quirk of mine. And since Tiffany Reisz has announced that she will continue writing about the Sinners for as long as she is alive it is a quirk that I will happily indulge in for the foreseeable future. There have to be worse ways of fooling yourself.